Feeling emotionally numb?

Question

For many years I wanted a relationship. But for many years everyone blew me off. Though, when i did get somewhere, they cheated on me or left me right before it became official for somebody else. Four years of deep loneliness later, i accidentally meet someone new, and she really really likes me and appreciates who i am, not just for my looks. She is really great, and tells me I make her really happy. I like her a lot too, but for some reason when i see her i feel so numb. Our nights together go by in a flash and they feel oddly vague when i look back on them. I dont feel like i can savor the emotions either. Physical contact with her doesnt feel rejuvenating either. Its all just gray and its really puzzling. I even feel like my sex drive has gone down extremely. Im at a complete loss. Perhaps im so used to burying my feelings ive become desensitized, or maybe im so used to loneliness that i need time to adjust? Who knows.

dburneson@sbcglobal.net · Accepted Answer

It sounds like your "stuck." You have been hurt so many times that you have shut off your feelings for danger of, once, again, failing and being hurt. You may have been living in a state of depression and not even know it for it seems to be the "norm." It isn't a case of "growing up." It is a case of dealing with battered feelings that need to be sorted out. That is why you feel "numbed out." You have numbed out the pain of disappointment and, people blowing you off, as you put it, rejection. "I don't feel that I can savor the emotions either." Of course, not. emotions are painful and often deadly. "Burnt child dreads fire." 
So, Life is Choices. What are you going to do? Be a Victim or a Victor? You can seal the door to your Heart and never be hurt again. A Hermit. Or, you can get motivated and say, Dam'it, I'm tired of this and, I'm going to change. And, you can seek out a Professional and have some sessions and, deal with all this muck, once, and for all. And, you will be a new Man full of confidence. Beginnings, Beginnings, so important are Beginnings, Choices.

quidagamus · Answer

This is more a question for relationships not men's health.  It sounds like you're feeling sorry for yourself.  If you want something you have to go out and get it.  Do the work and be active about finding what you want.  First you have decide what you want and stop being a sad sack, grow up and change your attitude because no one wants to be with a guy with low self esteem who feels sorry for himself all the time.

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Feeling emotionally numb?

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