Is it time to let him go? I keep hoping he will change but it never happens?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend around a year and a half and things were great at first but this year we have been so up and down.

I had an abortion in January which probably hasn't helped and it was a mutual decision but I feel like I have so much anger built up inside me from everything that's happened.

If we argue now the first thing he says is 'end it if you're not happy' but I'm only trying to express my feelings.

I can't talk to him about anything and I'm always second choice in his life his family and friends always come first.

We love each other but I just don't think this is enough anymore....

E · Answer

I just got out of a difficult, long term, controlling relationship..
we always fought, he didn't trust me, wouldn't "allow" me to go out with friends, would guilt trip me into staying with him, I was backseat to everything else but he expected him to be my sole priority, and if I brought it up I was a jerk and if I wasn't happy I should just leave.

At the end of the day, for both of you, a relationship like this isn't healthy. Try not to yell or scream or say"we need to talk". Try to say something like "I don't want to fight or end things, but right now, this relationship is hurting and upsetting me and it's hard for me when you won't talk", and start a calm conversation from there.
If things go south, or if you talk and they don't improve, let the relationship go. You're both smart beautiful women who deserve happiness, and if you need to find it elsewhere, there's no doubt in my mind that you can

Rena · Answer

I have the same problem as you, or had, what I did, which ended extremely well for me was I told him how I felt, what I am going through and said I just cant take it anymore,  I need to get out of this relationship and he settled down, stood back and let me go instead of holding on and making me feel bad or getting pissed, he stayed calm because he understood because I explained everything to him.

Blundt Cake · Answer

People change. People grow, evolve and others remain stagnant. It sounds like he's already checked out and is waiting (hoping) you'll end it and save him the trouble

Super · Answer

Same is the case with me and my relationship except for that it's been three years and I never was pregnant. 
I have built up anger inside me and I want to express my feelings too but I know if I ever open up my mouth, he's gonna leave me.
So I am just hoping for things to gey back to normal again as I love him so much. 
Idk what to do.

JJWJ · Answer

Sorry to hear that you lost your virginity.
Sorry to hear that you approved of your baby being murdered.

Clearly, he will never change.  Leave him and save your future.

Allison · Answer

Talk to him and if it turns out that nothing is working, end the relationship.

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Is it time to let him go? I keep hoping he will change but it never happens?

6 Answers