Should I keep sending my niece gifts?

I don't think there is anything wrong with sending a niece you love and care for gifts for special occasions. Sending gifts constantly? Well, that's a bit over the top.

And it's not your niece's fault if she grows up without being thankful, is it? Some people are not thankful. And some people grow up in thankless families, but they turn out to be very appreciative people. Everyone is different, regardless what their parents' behaviors are like.

If you spend time around the child, and you see others doing things for them, you can let the child know it's a very good thing to say "thank you".... you know, you can be a positive influence, too

Sending money? Your sister will just take it and spend it, so if you want your niece to have something, send her the gift instead.

and best wishes.

Niece Gifts

It's been 4 weeks since I mailed my niece a check (I mailed it with her birthday card)...and nothing. Even though I left a voice mail message, and sent an email to make sure she received it, not a peep. The check hasn't cleared, either. I'm tempted to put a stop payment on it! She is only 17 years old, but you'd think my sister could at least call me back and say she received it.

I'm more hurt than anything. But, I am tempted to only send a card next year. But, of course, I know I won't do that-- since it is her 18th birthday next year. I won't be sending a check or money of any kind, though, I can tell you that.

I agree, it's the last word in rude, but who are you trying to punish and teach a lesson. A 20 year old woman or a one year old child. It's perfectly OK to tell her that you are happy to give gifts but won't be supplying goods on demand. All you can do is your best with your niece. What happens to the gift after you send it is almost immaterial. For your own peace of mind, do what's right and you'll never have anything to reproach yourself with, and your niece can't either. Leave your SIL out of the equation. Ignorance due to lack of breeding is a terrible thing, but refuse to join her in hers.

OH MY I FEEL YOUR PAIN WE SHARE THE SAME SIL.....lol

the beginning 22 years ago......I thought she was young and just didn't come from grateful family.

Sadly over time she created ungrateful children and my brother took the same ungrateful attitude.

I stopped giving, now your niece is young...I would resolve something small for Christmas and bd that is it....socks...a book....soon just a simple card will work sent in the mail...I would not send gift cards or cash. I would keep all purchases under..10 bucks..or less...

another idea is to open a savings account in your name for her...drop a few bucks in it for Christmas and bd.......e' never know but over time...like when she is 12...14...I would tell her what you did....I would continue to save till high school or college and help her buy something huge she needs...that she can buy and use...

my in laws were wonderful with a savings account they opened for the children...every holiday bd they would place money in the account ad send a card with balance..at 16 both children had over 4k and bought cars, used it for college later...see it adds up...

my sister in law is always saying begging or asking for one thing or another....her famous words "Give it to me"...."buy for me "....like when the house next door was for sale....lol....she'll never change....time has told us that...

the only thing I can change is what I do and how I give...so currently nothing is given. I think over the years....I might have gotten 3 gifts out of 100's for 2 children without one thank you...so I am done...they get a card if they are lucky.

you know if I could do it differently I think I would have been more demanding with a thank you....when she was asking for more....I would have said...grateful people always get more..i think I would have injected some snippets of advice...help her grow...

thankfully the dollar store can work for little things and be done with it...face it ...100 bucks or 2 bucks it will not matter to her.... for your bother I would do nice things for that he can directly use...

good luck...

Definitely talk to your brother about this. He should be thanking you for gifts as well, not just his wife.

I would still send your niece cards and little things. It's not her fault that she's being raised by jerks. If you wanted to, you could start her a savings account or put money up for her to give to her at high school graduation instead of spending money for toys now - that way when you give it to her she will be old enough to thank you herself.

Your niece has no idea you are sending her gifts. I wouldn't until she is older and you have established a personal relationship with her. Anything you send now becomes a gift to her mother.

As a says you are enjoying to gift your niece than go and gift her what you like. For your own satisfaction.

I would stop gifting the child, honestly the kid is 1 and won't even remember these gifts. Save your money and time for now. and when the child gets old enough say around 10+ maybe you can start gifting her, that way the child will actually thank you and appreciate your gifts.

Don't punish a child for the parents disrespect Just know you are giving out of love and don't expect anything in return. If the child learns to be disrespectful then cut them off but right now she is an infant. Show love and model how you would like to be treated.