Does being quiet amount to being rude?

Question

I saw this post on facebook where this lady threw her children's ice cream away because they were quiet when it was handed to them at DQ, rather than expressing exuberant thanks. The children were ages 8, 7 and 5. Do you think this was right or not? Here is the entirety of the post:

Took the kids to Dairy Queen after dinner. They ordered their dessert choices and we waited about 5 minutes for them to call out our number. The young lady (maybe 17) handed each child their ice cream. Not one looked her in the eye. Not one said thank you. Not to her, not to me... So I waited. I counted to 10
in my head as they dug into their ice cream and the young lady just looked at me (probably because she thought I was hearing voices) and I watched as my children strolled out the door. I followed them outside where I calmly collected their ice creams and my kids watched in horror as I deposited them into the nearby garbage can. All 3 launched into mass hysteria. I waited. Quiet. Calm. When they realized I had something to say, they quieted down. 
I explained that one day, if they were lucky, they would work a job like that young lady. And I would hope that people would see them. Really see them. Look them in the eye and say thank you. We are too old at 8/7/5 to move through our days without exercising manners and honestly basic human decency.

And her page: https://www.facebook.com/jaimeprimaksullivan/?fref=nf

marys.momma · Answer

Many wise parents have a "family signal" to tell their kids that they've forgotten some important point of manners, such as thanking a server for handing them their ice cream cones.  It could be as little as narrowing the eyes, or as drastic as a code word that means "You're going to be punished when we get home!"

I do hate to see parents treating their children unkindly in public, but I also dislike seeing them allowed to run around wild, make a lot of commotion, and behave selfishly when a gracious "Thank you" would be more appropriate.  It's a little too much to expect perfect manners at all times, though, so I think that more subtle methods of teaching are preferable to dramatic lessons like you describe.

What will the kids take away from this incident?  Probably, "Mommy's pretty mean when she's in a bad mood."

LiverGirl98 · Answer

This comes down to individual perspective and how one sees the relationship - if any - between being quiet and individual interpretation of rude.  It is possible this woman felt embarrassed by what see saw as her childrens' lack of gratitude (and how this might reflect on her as a parent) and so believed it was necessary to punish them on some level by discarding their ice-creams.  Important to remember children are sponges and they model their own behavior on the adults around them so somewhere they have seen a non-response as being expected and accepted.

Stacy · Answer

She is teaching them manners. It's called tough love. Yes it is rude to remain quiet when a person interacts with you

Pearl L · Answer

kind of but those were children, they havent learned to do that yet, now all theyre learning is someone is being mean to them by throwing their ice cream away

Anonymous · Answer

you let them have the ice cream and explain that they should say thank you. To belittle children is a lot worse than their manners mistake.

Cyprus · Answer

If the mom never taught them to say thank you before then it s a bit odd to expect them to know.

Anonymous · Answer

Stalking her or what?

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Does being quiet amount to being rude?

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