What is the best way to deal with grown children struggling with their finances?

As difficult as this will seem, you need to cut him off. My cousin is 57 years old and still asks his mother for money to pay rent, health insurance etc every time his contract at work expires. It's actually going to hurt him even more if you're no longer around to help him out. Don't buy him DVD's because he probably won't watch them. It's almost like a bad habit and he has to come to terms that he has a financial problem. I understand wanting to be there for him. It's your job to do that when it comes to advice but not when it comes to bailing him out. He needs to realize that if he bleeds you dry and you need his help financially, then what? What happens if he needs money for a real emergency and you don't have the funds? Send him to CCCS.org to get financial assistance and education. Fly your grandson to see you or fly out there to see them. He can go teach in some inner city schools and have his student loans forgiven after working there for a specific amount of time. Please don't feel lousy or feel like a bad parent. I deal with finance issues of client's all the time and it isn't uncommon what your son is going through. Many people his age, both younger and older are still depending on the parents to bail them out.

The best way is to make THEM deal with it - as you suggest - via some financial counseling, perhaps. Don't be an enabler any longer.

If you absolutely can't resist helping them pay off their loans, then make them help themselves: offer to set up a "payoff fund" where you'll match every $2 they put in with $1 of yours. Don't just bail them out.

If students are college material and have the grades, most can get a scholarship and have nothing or very little to pay back. If you do nothing, then you end up owing. that isn't your responsibility. Your children need to pay their own bills. I would think if you wanted them to come home then you might pay for the air fare and put them up. That's enough.

He's over THIRTY, he's an adult. Stop feeling guilty. He needs to take control of his own financial history, he's about 18 years behind on this.

Skype can show everyone face to face time, there's pictures that can be sent by email, it's not like they went to the moon.

Don't ruin your finances to help him - that's not going to help long-term or fix the problem if he's not great financially.

Tell him you can't afford to help financially any more, but you'll gladly provide any practical help you can.

You leave them to it.

They are adults and need to learn to dig themselves out of messes they get into because it's a fact of life that there won't always be someone to bail them out.

Saying "sorry, I can't afford to fly you home or to pay off your debt that you accrued" is not tough love. It's just reality, and it's not gonna kill anyone. Leave them alone and mind your own business. They are adults now and not your responsibility. No, do not get them DVDs or suggestions for credit counseling. Just live your own life and leave them alone.

For Christmas or some occasion, buy them plane tickets to fly home to visit. Beyond that, no.

Sounds like you need to cut the cord already. Had you done that earlier, there might not be any current issues.

Just leave them be....they got themselves into this mess - they can get themselves out.