What does this mean? Does she still love her ex?

Question

Or at least that's what I tell myself.
I'm going to supply a condensed story; after an exhausting day, me and my girlfriend relaxed for a bit. I looked over her shoulder and her Facebook stated that her ex had gotten into a relationship. She was visibly upset and sent him a message. (Which, btw, read "so much for not being ready for a serious relationship." (That was the reason he gave for breaking up with her.) 
Obviously, this sent off loud bells in my head. She turned to me and said that, despite everything, it still hurt. I responded by storming off. 
After I came back, she was crying, apologizing, trying to explain herself, asking me if I hated her, and even begged me to not leave her.
We agreed to talk about this later today, but I'm not entirely sure what to do. 
Based on her reaction, I can definitely see that she's not over him, but I'm worried that I may just be a rebound (despite our relationship lasting longer than her previous one) or that, despite what she tells me, that I'm number 2. 
I love her to death, but I don't want to be her second choice. 
So what does all of this mean? What should I say to her? Should I break up with her? Should I try to consider her feelings? 
I mean, she did seem more upset over the idea of me leaving her than of her ex getting a gf, but I could just be trying to convince myself at this point.

Anonymous · Answer

You're an idiot! Sorry to be so harsh, but you need to hear it! You turned this into something entirely about you, when it had nothing to do with you! She was merely sending an insulting message to her ex, and you didn't even see that! When she sent that message to her ex, it's equivalent to someone sending an insulting message to someone who borrowed money from you, and never returned it, and now it looks like they got plenty of money.

It's got nothing to do with whether she's over him or not, she could well be completely over him. Do you get over being angry at someone why gypped you out of your money? So why would you think somebody wouldn't be angry at somebody who wasted all of that time with them?

That's why people shouldn't post anything publicly and definitely shouldn't read each other's private messages. They can be both misconstrued, as you have just demonstrated!

Jackie · Answer

You're right, she is not over her ex. It takes a very long time to get over someone. I think you over reacted. I can understand your feelings but you should be more considerate of her feelings. Be supportive and dont give her a reason to feel guilty about not getting over her ex quicker. Its a good possibility that you started out as a rebound but that doesnt mean that you will always just be her second choice. Relationships evolve and feelings change and right now you are her first choice. Let the past go and allow yourself to be content with the stable and comfortable spot you are in right now. She has feelings she needs to deal with, be there for her and be a good listener without reacting to her feelings about her ex as if it meant something negative about you bc it doesnt

Trending News

What does this mean? Does she still love her ex?

2 Answers