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I'm feeling kind of pathetic about an ex?

It's been over a year and a half since I stopped seeing my ex. The breakup wasn't horrible, but it wasn't amicable either. There has been no contact between us since then, other than the occasional seeing one another in public, where we have more or less ignored each other.

Unfortunately, I still think about her frequently. Not because I still have feelings for her or anything. More because she was the last person I dated, and the most recent context I have for anything relationship related.

Yesterday I had to go into the place where she works. She's a pharmacy tech, and I needed something for a head cold and hers was the only pharmacy open. Of course she was working and the one who waited on me. The transaction was awkward, and I could sense she felt as uncomfortable as me. To the extent I could I just acted like I didn't even know her. She did ask one personal question, "How have you been". To which I replied, "Fine, just working a lot". I did not ask her anything in return.

Since this happened yesterday, I have been fighting back the urge to contact her in some way. This would require unblocking her on Facebook, or finding her cell number in a phone backup. I know I won't actually go through with it, but the temptation is still there.

I know part of the reason she is still on my mind is because I haven't dated anyone since her, and haven't even tried to do so.

Update:

The reason I have stopped dating is not specifically because of her, but because the experience was kind of the last straw in a string of bad experiences.

The question is if anyone has any advice for finally putting her out of my mind.

1 Answer

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  • 5 years ago

    "I still think about her frequently. Not because I still have feelings for her or anything. More because she was the last person I dated, and the most recent context I have for anything relationship related."

    Right there is your biggest reason not to go through with contacting her. If the feelings are no longer there, it's pointless to try to start anything. Moreover, if it turns out she is still harboring feelings for you, then going out of your way to contact her is just cruel. It will be giving her false hope. You don't have romantic feelings for her, so don't do anything that might lead her to believe that you do.

    Perhaps now is the time to start giving dating a try. Put yourself out there and see what happens. You'll never find the right girl for you if you aren't even out there trying.

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