Should I withdraw my son from college? Please help!?

My son recently started college, 1200 miles from me. I too, monitored him and forced him to do his work and go to school when he was in high school and to be honest, I wish I hadn't! Now, he struggles more in college, because he didn't have that time to grow up and become independent when he was at home and I could help if needed.

Like many of the PP's have mentioned, you cannot withdraw him from school, since he is legally an adult.I would honestly suggest letting him continue on and make his own mistakes. Often times, making the mistake and dealing with it- HIMSELF- is the only way he will learn and grow.

As for the way he's behaving and speaking to you, I would suggest having a long talk with him about how that made you feel, respect toward you, and your expectations for his behavior at home- especially since he's an adult now. Do you think that would help?

I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the US parents don't have the power to withdraw their children (adult or minor) from college classes. Because of federal education privacy laws (FERPA) parents don't have the privilege to talk to college administrators, counselors, or instructors about their child's program, attendance, grades, or even finances (even if the parents are paying) unless the student signs a release.

As hard as it is on you (I'm a mom, too!), it is accountability and consequence time for your son. Tell him if he doesn't have a C average (or other standard you decide), you will not pay for his next term. Additionally, if he isn't going to school (or maybe working a certain number of hours per week if he opts to not attend school--you decide), he will need to find another living situation. Did he decide to pursue the police officer program on his own or was the decision made for him? I ask because he doesn't seem very motivated by it. Maybe he would rather do automotive or welding or something more technical? You could offer another option, too. Good luck--I know it's hard, but he has to make decisions (or non-decisions) and suffer the consequences

Let him work for a little while-say a year or so. Eventually, he'll realize

how much he needs a college degree. Of course, there will have to be

a few things completed in advance.

First, tell him he can't be in your house anymore. He has to get his own place.

That will be another motivator for him. Paying the rent and his own bills. Tell him

that as soon as the current semester is over, he has thirty days to find a place

to live-even if it means couch-surfing at his buddy's house for a while.

He has to grow up. Now is the time. Just remember, tough love never killed

anybody. Not as much as carelessness. Don't put yourself in the 2nd category.

No.

Just tell him that you will stop financing his schooling unless he changes his ways and then stick to your guns.

This will mean notifying the college at the end of the term if you are withdrawing your financial support.

After all... it's YOUR MONEY!

If he still wants to be a cop he can get his own financing or enlist in the military and take the MP route to a career in law enforcement.

You can't withdraw him since he is 19. However you can do 2 things. 1. Stop paying for his classes. 2. Kick him out of the house. Legally, he can be on his own.

You can't withdraw him since he is 19. However you can do 2 things. 1. Stop paying for his classes. 2. Kick him out of the house. Legally, he can be on his own.

I'm not sure that you can legally withdraw your son from college as he's an adult. (If you were appointed his "guardian," for instance, then it may be a completely different situation.) Even though your son may have had good intentions by having enrolled in an Associate degree program to work in law enforcement, perhaps he's not motivated to be in the field, at least, at this time. (Please try not to think of him as a "loser," whether if talking to him or about him :)

How about having a "sit down" with your son about how you're concerned that he hasn't been attending school and that perhaps it's not the right time for him to major in law enforcement. Perhaps he would rather switch to a different major or would like to take a "leave of absence" from school. Please keep in mind, though, that yelling and shouting at him shall *not* get a positive response, even though you're most likely frustrated, and understandably so.

Just to add that perhaps your son may benefit from starting therapy (or even a life coach) as he doesn't seem very motivated right now. To search for a licensed mental health professional, here is a website that may have some local counseling agencies:

http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ and can type one's zip code or state of residence into search.

Their toll-free 24/7 *referral* hotline:

1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Well, after a few weeks of class you cannot get a refund on the tuition spent, but if you signed a MPN for a Parent Plus loan you need to get out of it. Schools typically take out loans for more than that needed for immediate expenses and cut a check for 1500 dollars a semester directly to the kid. That way the kids can blow the money around town at bars and other places. Don't enable this stuff, but give up on trying to talk him into going to classes, you cannot inspire his desire to learn at this late stage.

My understanding is that entry level work as a cop is done by a city or other institution, and then they send the new hire to police school. Until then, if he really want that work, he can easily get a security guard job.

You can't withdraw your son from college - he's an adult, he's responsible for his own decisions

You can of course not pay

Don't be afraid of anything you are doing because you are doing good for you son being involved. It is good to read how invested and interested you are in his life. Never give up and pace yourself. When he finds an interest he is completely dedicated to you will know it. Maybe school is not what he is into and just consider he could start in a job related to the field you want him to take and then he will himself be interested in getting the education that will ensure his wage and his future success. Don't give up you are doing an amazing job.