How to explain to my 13 year old sis why I have privileges she doesn't?

Question

So I'm almost 20, out of school, with my own car that's paid off, my own job, and I am rarely home anymore. I live with my parents btw. But when I am, it's kind of tense. My thirteen year old sis wants to be like me, able to come and go whenever I want. She constantly says things like "but she can!" "if she can I should be able to!" etc. She's bent on the fact that there's no difference between 13 and 20, despite the fact that there is a big difference. Mom has tried time and time again to explain that I'm an adult, she's a child and our lives are two totally different things. But it just doesn't work. So mom has asked me to see if maybe I can get through to her, as I have been able to in the past. But this is uncharted territory for me. What can I do to help her understand that I'm grown, and these aren't privileges, they're just what being an adult is like?

Lil&#39;Alien · Accepted Answer

Your sister seems to have hit puberty. Not sure if anything you say will change her mind but if you want to give it a try you need to tell her the facts.

Fact one she is only 13 meaning she has to listen to her parents until she's old enough.

Fact two she can earn more freedoms by obeying to the rules your parents set out.

Fact three. If she doesn't obey the rules there are consequences (punishment) and she's probably not going to like these consequences.

You could add a few more facts if you like (ones that could resonate with her) and then tell her things were the same for you when you were her age. You then should tell her that it will be up to her how easy or difficult the coming years will be because her (your) parents are not going to give her the same liberties as you get simply because she isn't old enough anymore.

Being a teen can suck because everything seems to be changing but doesn't have to. How it's going to be for your sister is for a big part up to her. You can tell her this too and maybe explain to her why.

If I would add anything else what would be important for your sister to know is that no matter how much she insist on getting what she wants, chances are she will only make things hard on herself doing so. She probably doesn't want that so let her think about that part for a while so she can decide to change her ways.

If she doesn't you parents probably should take another approach and you can 'warn' your sister for this too.

Hope this helps.

? · Answer

Tell her that she can do whatever she wants when she's 20, and you couldn't when you were 13. If she got the same 'privileges' as you do now, it would be unfair because she would have them for 7 years longer than you did.

? · Answer

Film her behavior and show it to her when she turns 20.

Give her a comparison analogy 20 vs 13 & 13 vs 6.

Take her to watch a scary rated R movie which she can't handle. she'll know the difference.

Pearl L · Answer

maybe you should move out so shes not trying to compare what youre doing all the time

Anonymous · Answer

tell her she is a kid and you are an adult. She needs to grow up

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How to explain to my 13 year old sis why I have privileges she doesn't?

5 Answers