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? asked in HealthOther - Health · 3 years ago

How long after losing a parent do you start accepting what happened?

My mom passed away nearly 5 months ago after battling cirrhosis, and I still have not been able to wrap my head around it, maybe because we have no answers as to why she ever got cirrhosis, she tested negative for any genetic reasons, never an alcoholic or drug abuser, no identifiable reason whatsoever. My mom was a good woman, helped the community, donated every month to children's hospital, loved her kids and would walk through hell and back for them and her grandkids, but even the best of people will meet their fate eventually and often times we are left with an empty space in our hearts and a million questions. I am aware ill probably never know why my mom got sick, but I am curious about how long it takes to start feeling some closure. I know its different for everyone and I am just wanting to know from your personal experience.

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    3 years ago

    There's no timeframe. It can take years and years. And that saying about time healing all wounds. That's not true. When my brother committed suicide, it took me probably five years before I didn't think about him every day, didn't have my mind go to him in the quite minutes on my commute to work, didn't grieve him every day. My uncle, who was the only father I ever knew, died 9 years ago. I'm still not over it. I still miss him deeply. Deeply, deeply, deeply. Like I want to see him. I want to call him on the phone. I want to talk to him. All the time. Every day, just like I used to. I don't think I'll ever "accept it." I just go on missing him and wanting that without getting it because what else can I do?

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