I broke up with my bf then we were talking about possibly getting back together but now he's slept with another women anyone have advice?

Question

It's been less than 3 weeks since we broke up. I ended it because there was so much drama and fighting going on because he didn't have lots of time for me. After a week no contact we started to talk and I realized I want him and only him and can't picture being with anyone else. He always said he wanted me and loved me and never wanted to break up and we were talking about how to fix our issues. We ended up sleeping together when I asked him to come see me because I was so sad. Then 3 days later he went and slept with another women. Drunkenly and apparently by accident. I feel so hurt and betrayed. I know we weren't together together but we were definitely talking about it. How could he do that if he still wanted me? Is that how men function do they just bang the next available girl? He said he was "giving up" but I know if it had been me I could never have moved on that fast. What do you think? Did he care does he still want me or should I move on? I asked him to wait for me to figure out how I feel so he says he's not going to sleep with anyone else. What do I do? He's 29 and I'm 25 so this isn't just teenage heartache i truly thought I'd marry him and he said he still thinks of me as the women he wants to marry.

Janet · Answer

Once you break up, he is a free agent. You cannot complain if he sleeps with someone else.

Just drop it.
Couples who CAN make it work DO make it work. Until they have lived together for 2-3 years, there should NOT be ANY drama or fighting because the problems aren't supposed to start until then. And the earlier problems start, the worse they will be later on.

You two just are NOT suited for each other.
Let it go, move on.
Don't harbor resentment. Men are in it for sex and a warm body, and it drives women crazy when their guy goes out and immediately replaces her with another warm body.  Happens all the time.
You want you man, you don't break up with him ... and if you are not happy, tell him ONCE .. calmly .. about how YOU feel. And if does not or cannot change, then he is not the man for you and you need to stop wasting time and break up.

So what if he loved you?
Most people don't even know HOW to love.  And love is only 11% of what makes a relationship last.  Only about 12.5% of all married couples end up staying together AND being happy, and it takes them about 20 years of marriage and growing up personally before they can make it work.

Drunken and by accident.
NO.
Being drunk was the excuse he gave himself to sleep with this woman. It was not an accident.  He didn't love you enough to remain faithful to you, and that is the truth of it.
Yes, men move on that fast.  They love differently from how women love.  Not better.  Just different.  You cannot expect a man to love you the way you love him.

Get back, and you two will only break up again. And again and again until one time it is SO painful that one of you will never try again.

seedy history · Answer

It's odd how many people, of both sexes, seem to think that if a person has a drink then they get so clumsy that they fall into someone, poke into them, engage in having sex and then "come to" in some fashion that leads them to claim it was an "accident".  I've seen people really drunk and falling over.. they're likely to fall into 7 people before they figure out how to get outside. 7 people! I suppose they could have "accidentally" had sex with every one of them when all they really wanted to do was go outside and sit on the stoop for a few minutes and clear their head. But instead, because they were drunk, they might have accidentally had sex with 7 people simply trying to get across the room! Oh that wicked brew.

Sur La Mer · Answer

You must have been watching the Young & the Restless CBS TV soap, where Billy slept with Summer, while ready to propose to her mother Phyllis.

Go check it out!

There is no way in getting them (Billy & Phyllis, or Billy & Summer) back together again, but Summer & Phyllis became friends (mom/daughter) again!

You figure it out, you're 25 and adult.  Find what is BEST FOR YOU!

Advice for you:  Don't mix sex with alcohol.  Go for romance before sex.

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I broke up with my bf then we were talking about possibly getting back together but now he's slept with another women anyone have advice?

3 Answers