Should I go on seeing this friend?

Question

I have a male friend whom I have known about 3 years. We can considered good friend ( not boyfriend/girlfriend stuff ), he was also an ex colleague. We had lunch everyday for about 2 years till he found another job. Now we only have once  weekly dinner. I am working in a company which will give year end bonus,
performance bonus n mid year bonus, I will share some with this friend. (Good things must be shared). At times I won some lottery which I will share as well. Lately I find he reply to my text messages rather less frequent. He told me he was busy. Yesterday he told me his work place has a girl who asked him to go movie this valentine day. He said she is very pretty. It’s okay to tell me that. He told me she is not his girl friend. I told him that since now he has someone he maybe has an intention then I will not bother to share anything with him anymore. The reason is I do not want to cause any misunderstanding. That moment he sound angry saying he should not have told me anything. Can anyone advise why he say that? Genuine response most welcome.

Huh? · Answer

He thinks you're rejecting him because he now has a girlfriend.  He may also not be happy at the prospect of no more money from you.

Diyah · Answer

First of all I do agree with everyone that you shouldn't share all that money with him. Maybe take him to dinner once or something like that.

Why did he get mad? You responded emotionally and dramatically. He felt like you were being over dramatic. And saying " well since you want to talk and hang out with other women, I'm done with you, good bye". He didn't think you were that way. So he wishes he had never told you.

What should you have said? " cute cute? Or cute hot? Congrats let me know how it goes." and then waited. If somewhere down the road they began to date, he would have introduced you to her and you could reassure her that you pose no threat.

You can still fix this though. Just apologize and say you used the wrong words and meant to say" I know girls are easily threatened by a guy having female friends. I want this to go well for you. I didn't meant to sound over dramatic. "

Pearl · Answer

he dont sound interested in being your friend, he sounds nnore like he wants to use you

Anonymous · Answer

You're sharing your bonuses and lottery winnings with him, and he's not your boyfriend or husband already? You're being used.

will · Answer

He wants to still reap your benefits although his interest may be somewhere else

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Should I go on seeing this friend?

5 Answers