Please help, I am emotionally destroyed?

Question

1) My stepdad molested me when I was 11. 
2) My mom chose to stay with him so I went to live with my dad. 
3) My dad and step mother were emotionally abusive, constantly telling me how I would end up like my mother / I had a weird personality / I was abnormal, needed to be more like my siblings. 
4) I entered into an abusive relationship (when they say you typically fall into the pattern of your parents, they‘re right)
4) I attempted suicide as an adult only to hear my dad tell me he was ashamed of me. My only support was my brother. 
5) I went to the mental hospital & got better, I l left my abusive relationship. However I became lonely (no family)
4) I forgave my mother, she entered my life again, and I even forgave my step dad who also entered my life again (stupid decision)
5) After a year, my step dad told my mother that me and him were ‘sexually interested in eachother’ and that it was my fault. This was a disgusting delusion, literally turned my stomach when my mom told me. 
6) She chose him over me again. And my entire family always sides with her choices. Except my brother.

Now here I am, in so much pain. I keep getting broken. How can I not be the problem if everyone is betraying me constantly? What is wrong? Please someone tell me I am the problem or that I can fix my life. This all feels out of my control.

Thanks for listening to my life. I appreciate your all’s feedback!

Cogito · Accepted Answer

I know it's difficult, but you're an intelligent young woman and you can get out of this mess.  YOU are not the problem!
Sometimes, it's necessary to accept that virtually your entire family is toxic.  Your brother sounds great, but let's face it, the others are a disaster.You have to keep away from them - permanently.While it's wonderful if you have a lovely family, it's not the end of the world if they aren't.  You need to make some real friends, people who won't judge you, tell you what to do, take advantage of you or make you feel bad.Get out there, join clubs, societies, organisations, interest groups, etc.  Meet loads of people and be really picky about who you confide in.  Don't start by telling them about your past or your family - they don't need to know.There are thousands of wonderful potential friends out there, waiting to meet you, like you and be there for you - just as you will be for them.I know it's scary, but you have an excellent brain, you sound really nice and you CAN make a fabulous life for yourself!But sadly, all but one of your family will have no part in it.It's their loss.Be happy!Good luck!xx

Lynnmarie · Answer

God's love can heal you. I strongly urge you to read the New Testament, starting with the Gospel of John; then Romans.  I asked Jesus Christ into my life as Lord and Savior many years ago and He has helped me with all sorts of problems and blessed me a lot, as well as given me assurance of a home in heaven.  He is a faithful friend.  I recommend Him to you.

Pearl L · Answer

i wouldve told the police what your stepdad did

Emily J · Answer

First off you need counseling and therapy to help you process the abuse, 2nd cut the people (mother especially) who are toxic from you life, whoever they are.  Don't apologize for you actions, just do it, if certain people comment, just say that this is for YOUR mental health and as they are not helping they can stay out of it and cut them out also.

y · Answer

They only issues you have apparently is not maintaining the proper level of mental health help and not cutting out the poison(family). You reconnected with negative people somehow expecting that this time, it would be different.
That is on you, the rest, the choices of friends and relationships are controlled a great deal by your subconscious. This should be a known to you already and with the help of the therapist you should be seeing. Second looks need to be taken before entering relationships of any kind.

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Please help, I am emotionally destroyed?

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