Faith

I feel like I'm dying inside. She was one of the only family members I have a good relationship with. We have been best friends and attached at the hip since I was a young girl. She always referred to me as "twin" because we looked so much alike. Losing her is like losing a huge chunk of my heart.. I've never lost anyone this close to me, and I can't stop crying to the point where my eyes are hurting and swollen. I know death and loss is a part of life, but I have no idea how to process or deal with this big of a loss. I'm desperate here..

I graduated from my CCMA program a few years ago and I’ve been searching for a job that allows me to help others, perform clinical duties, with good health insurance. I finally found that job at an OB clinic in November. 

Sadly, 2 months ago, I began experiencing extreme dizziness. I have always been a shaky person but my shaking got so bad I could barely write notes for the doctor. I ended up almost crashing into another car due to these issues. I attempted to take FMLA leave but wasn’t eligible due to not being there a year yet. I asked to work remotely or to start work a few hours later than I normally do so my SO could drive me, but they were unwilling to accommodate. Therefore I had to resign. 

Tbh the clinical work was really hard on my issues, I forced myself to push through it while on my feet. 

I’m scheduled to see a Neurologist. I just feel so down & depressed.. all I wanted was to work with patients & help. Now that’s gone & I’m not sure I’ll ever physically be able to do clinical work again. I feel like a complete loser, I’m only 25 & can barely drive myself + just lost a job I worked so hard for. I’ve never been at home w/o a job except for one other time. I’m trying to find a job from home, staying in medical, like billing/coding, I have a background in that as well, but haven’t received a single response. On top of that, feeling terrible all the time plus stressing about money isn’t helping my mental health either. 

Was just hoping for some advice. Thanks!

My DH used to drink a lot with his friends. Once, they peed in the same toilet while drunk, and once a big group of his friends took their boxers off in the hot tub based off a dare (til it got weird, then they put them back on) He’s done a lot of crazy things while drinking so I’m trying not to judge, I just haven’t been wild like that before so I figured others would have a better idea. 

My dad was a wonderful parent, until I was 14 years old. He married a woman who changed him completely. He went from being able to apologize and being me for who I am, to constantly shaming me for my personality and always putting me down even after my honorable achievements in life. Its been so mentally horrible, I ended up in the mental hospital when I was 22 years old; only to get a call from him saying

he was ashamed of me and I was messing with his sheriff election. I have attempted to mend things with him multiple times, but it always ends in a huge wave of drama and anxiety for me. For example, this Christmas he called me on Christmas Eve causing drama because I offered to meet him at a restaurant. Now, he’s trying to call again, but I know he never changes. What should I do? How do I handle not answering the call? He is my biggest weakness and my biggest source of pain in life. I just need some guidance please. Thanks

I’m very uncomfortable around my dads wife. She’s always calling me weird, making snide comments about how her daughter is more successful, and she’s always talking down to me. It’s put me in a deep depression before. 

There’s always some kind of drama, because of her. And my dad allows it to happen. I’ve cut them out of my life before because it was killing me. But here I am, begging for my dad again. 

Well, for thanksgiving I went to their house for the first time in a long time. Nothing had changed, discomfort continued and now my fiancé is feeling just as uncomfortable as me about them. 

On Christmas Eve, I asked my dad he would meet me at a restaurant instead of his house for Christmas Day. Well, my Christmas Eve was ruined when he got furiously angry saying I needed to come to his house or no deal. Saying he didn’t wanna eat at a restaurant on Christmas, etc. He ends the call by hanging up on me. Keep in mind, I was going to drive roughly 4 hours to see him at a local restaurant. 

I message him afterwards and we continue convo. He says he is hurt and feels depressed because his kids never want to be at his house, but we’ve tried to explain the toxicity of his wife. He never listens and we are always left miserable He always sides with her, he isn’t even allowed to talk on the phone with us without her present. 

Am I wrong here? He seems to think I’m just terrible, all the time, and we always end up back at this same situation. 

I went to a therapist over personal issues, but also shared some relationship issues; my partner recently shared he has some addiction problems with me, it’s caused lying and trust issues and has been hard.

He scheduled an appointment with my therapist as well. We called and verified it would be okay. However, the day we arrived, they had cancelled his appointment and kept mine, saying it was a conflict of interest and scolded him for not sharing our relationship info when he made the appointment. (We shared this info when we called back)

I’m pissed. I feel like they are judging him and not interested in helping. I also notice during my appointments, my therapist seems to always be against him. Maybe she has a sensitive history to the subject or is sexist, I’m not sure. Should I find a new therapist, or office? I feel like they are being unfair to him for no reason, he’s my fiancé and a good person regardless of his addiction. He deserves help like everyone else. 

We are engaged. We bought a house together. We set our life on track, and are very much in love. He is kind, appreciative, attentive, supportive, loving and just the greatest partner I’ve ever known. He has fought through my mental illness with me and has been good to me. However, I recently learned several lies told throughout our relationship, and I’m stunned. Lying is my deal breaker, but I’ve never been treated as good as he treats me. So I’m caught here, I don’t want to leave but my deal breaker was broke. 

He’s lied about porn addiction and a gambling addiction and well as a few stories about his past. Coincidentally I learned them all at the same time. 

He has taken full responsibility of these issues and has already made a counseling appointment for tomorrow. Would I be nuts for sticking by him? Would most people leave? 

Ps. I have a history of relationships where I was constantly lied to, he knew that. I feel betrayed. Although I know these lies weren’t about me, I still feel like I wasn’t worth the truth. But I still Love him with all of my heart. I can deal with any addiction just not future lies. 

I had a friend BEFORE my current partner. This person was just a friend, I told my partner we never even kissed. Well, this conversation came up between my partner and my friend. My partner asked my friend if anything ever happened, and my friend said we kissed on multiple occasions. Looking back, I was drunk/high around my friend all of the time. I don’t remember any kisses. Was this a lie? 

I’m an open minded person and I’m asking for blunt honesty. I have some anxiety issues so it’s nice to have another point of view on these things. My partner is always doing kind things for me, always faithful, attentive, appreciative, and supportive in every way possible. Except when it comes to my deal breaker, lying. He lies about the following things;

1) porn (he has a long-term addiction he starting to work through)

2) his past with his ex’s

Should I be concerned about these lies? I told him at the beginning, lying was my deal-breaker, but I’ve learned pretty much every guy lies (not to sound sexist, just from my experience) and I don’t wanna leave a good relationship if I’m overreacting. 

I do love him very much, and have never been treated this good in my life. But this has caused a decline in my mental health, as I have trust issues and was open about this from the beginning. 

Thanks for your all’s help! 

Porn watching is something I don’t care about, but lies are. 

I have had a lot of betrayal in my life, I’m struggling. I can’t find the line, what should I forgive people for? Because I’m losing everyone and there’s gotta be a line. So do I forgive my mom for staying with her husband who molested me as a child? My dad for constantly telling me I was a disgrace and that my anxiety was silly and inconvenient for him? My fiancé for lying about porn a few times? I need to know the line. Because to me, everyone sucks and everyone hurts me. I always tell people at the beginning of relationships; I can handle anything but lies. Please, help me find the line. I’m alone, and I don’t think I want to be alone, even though it’d probably be easier. Also I’m already in counseling, but sometimes weekly sessions isn’t enough. I just need some thoughts. Thanks!

So I’m a stickler when it comes to lies, my fiancé has always been honest with me except about 1 thing; porn. Which that’s cool that he watches it, I just don’t want any lies. I had a relationship prior to this that was full of lies, and I’m constantly paranoid anyways. So he knows how much honesty means to me. Well, he first lied to me a year ago about porn. He then seen how it hurt me and promised to never lie about it again. Ever since, he has told me each time he has watched porn just to build that trust with me. 

Today, we were looking through movies on his phone and we saw porn in his history. He says ‘omg I must have done this in my sleep, I don’t remember’ but it was like 20 links clicked, and I was like ‘no dude. You’re lying.’ He continued by swearing on my life, my dogs life and his own. I’m very superstitious so I take those things very seriously. Then, later that night, after I never fell for any of the lies, he finally tells me the truth and says he ‘clicked on it when he was half asleep and barely remembers but does remember when he closed out of them.’ So here I am, wondering if that is even the truth, and wondering if I should be with him since he’s broke trust with me again?

He offered to put some type of porn blocker on his phone and give me the password, but I don’t wanna be a babysitter. I love him so very much, but I’ve just been hurt so much. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like I’m constantly going to be paranoid. Any thoughts?

My fiancé is typically very honest with me. At the start of our relationship, he lied about watching porn. I had a relationship previously where I was lied to all of the time, so the lying hit me hard. He promised to never lie about porn again. Ever since, he has told me each time he’s watched it. However, we were sitting together looking up movies on his phone, and we see porn in his history. It was like 20 porn links. It was from the morning prior. He says ‘I do not remember watching this’ and insists it was in his sleep. I’m hurt deeply because I don’t find it realistic to watch porn in your sleep. He says he knows how I feel about lying and he has no reason to lie. So I guess my question is, do you think it’s possible to click 20 links of porn in your sleep? Because as a person who suffers from mental illness, I just can’t deal with lies, especially after I’ve expressed that lying is my one and only deal breaker. 

Thanks in advance for your help! 

I am in counseling, but can only afford to go bi-weekly. In the mean time, I feel like I can barely stand myself. I can barely function. Every second, I feel it in every part of my body - complete and utter emotional pain. Any advice on temporary relief? 

He molested me when I was 11-12yrs, then as an adult I decide to forgive so I can be apart of my mothers life. He then decides to try and ‘seduce’ me after a year of being civil. 

Her reason for staying is that ‘God told her to stay’ ‘He prayed for forgiveness’ and ‘As a Christian she cannot leave her husband when he tells her he is praying to be a Christian and to be forgiven.’ She says she planned on leaving, until he told her that. She says she wants to save his soul.I have always loved Jesus and all but I highly doubt he’s telling her these things. I hate to see her as a bad person, but how is she not? And how am I not stupid for still feeling that need for my mother, as a 25 year old woman?

Thoughts? Thanks everyone!

They are destroying my mental health and I fear for my future if they stick around 

1) My stepdad molested me when I was 11. 

2) My mom chose to stay with him so I went to live with my dad. 

3) My dad and step mother were emotionally abusive, constantly telling me how I would end up like my mother / I had a weird personality / I was abnormal, needed to be more like my siblings. 

4) I entered into an abusive relationship (when they say you typically fall into the pattern of your parents, they‘re right)

4) I attempted suicide as an adult only to hear my dad tell me he was ashamed of me. My only support was my brother. 

5) I went to the mental hospital & got better, I l left my abusive relationship. However I became lonely (no family)

4) I forgave my mother, she entered my life again, and I even forgave my step dad who also entered my life again (stupid decision)

5) After a year, my step dad told my mother that me and him were ‘sexually interested in eachother’ and that it was my fault. This was a disgusting delusion, literally turned my stomach when my mom told me. 

6) She chose him over me again. And my entire family always sides with her choices. Except my brother. 

Now here I am, in so much pain. I keep getting broken. How can I not be the problem if everyone is betraying me constantly? What is wrong? Please someone tell me I am the problem or that I can fix my life. This all feels out of my control. 

Thanks for listening to my life. I appreciate your all’s feedback! 

When we first met he liked me completely for who I was. He liked everything about me. He even tried to end our friendship, saying it was too hard to just be friends (I was with someone else) After my breakup he was there for me. We were bestfriends, spent so much time together he felt like my other half. We literally finished each others sentences. I waited a bit to get w/him because he was too special to be a rebound. He would be able to look at me & know if something was wrong, would beg for me to talk to him about it. I had some mental issues. Every little thing he said or did would set me off & I would act horribly. We moved in together after a while. I treated him badly by being so hard on him for over a year. He became cold toward my feelings, began lying in fear of how I would act. After that I got help, was put on meds. It made me completely self-aware, I was improved so much. For a month things were great, he was caring again. But then turned cold again. When I would share my feelings or be angry because he told a small lie he would get furious, say horrible things to me & put the blame on me. I literally couldn't even say 'hey can I talk to you' He even smacked my arm once when I simply asked if he lied. I know how it sounds but I can tell its also unresolved mental issues. One moment he realizes & cries out of guilt & then another hes a different person. He seems to have a bipolar disorder. Would it be crazy for me to wait for him to get help like he did for me?