What do you think of my mother’s reason for staying with my abuser?

Question

He molested me when I was 11-12yrs, then as an adult I decide to forgive so I can be apart of my mothers life. He then decides to try and ‘seduce’ me after a year of being civil.

Her reason for staying is that ‘God told her to stay’ ‘He prayed for forgiveness’ and ‘As a Christian she cannot leave her husband when he tells her he is praying to be a Christian and to be forgiven.’ She says she planned on leaving, until he told her that. She says she wants to save his soul.I have always loved Jesus and all but I highly doubt he’s telling her these things. I hate to see her as a bad person, but how is she not? And how am I not stupid for still feeling that need for my mother, as a 25 year old woman?

Thoughts? Thanks everyone!

Anonymous · Answer

A person can know many truths by reciting the rosary every day with care.

Archer · Answer

So you have not prosecuted him yet as your probably not his only victim.

Lynnmarie · Answer

Well, she is correct that God hates divorce and that she should forgive him.  You need go no farther than the Bible to see that He did indeed tell her to forgive and stay with her husband.   But I must say   that she is a stronger Christian than I am to be able to handle the situation, but we can't dismiss the grace of God.  He is the one who can hold us up under the most difficult circumstances.  She would have been within her rights to leave because of the sexual sin.  God does do miracles and it's possible that your abuser will be saved.

k w · Answer

fear....fear of you not having a mother, was worse to her.......

Anonymous · Answer

NOT GOOD ENOUGH...I WOULD NOT PUT UP WITH THAT..

Anonymous · Answer

You are not stupid for needing your mother's love and affection.
But as an adult, you now have to choose between your mother and your own safety.
Obviously he doesn't abuse her, so she is safe.  She isn't a bad person, just deluded or perhaps overly compassionate.

Alan H · Answer

Words are cheap.   Actions cost something.
But, hard as it is, you may need to realise that, for all his faults, she loves her husband.
However, if he as much as attempts to touch you inappropriately, thst must be reported.   Through your Mum, let him know that that will be the outcome.

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What do you think of my mother’s reason for staying with my abuser?

7 Answers