I've come to the realization that I'll never have a genuine friend or a girlfriend. How do I cope with this?

I have horrible social skills and too many social traumas. I keep finding people that try their best to insert dominance with me and they usually make it. I don't think I'm bad looking and I'm quite tall. I know people would like me if I could be myself.. but that's pretty much impossible. This social anxiety prevents me from getting comfortable around people. It's a turn off for women as soon as I open my mouth.

I could be at home and imagine scenarios where I try to get close to someone and succeed. Hence making them my friend. But not even that way I manage it, lmao. My brain blocks when I want to have something to say. I'm so into this girl. She has tried to get close to me several times. But either something happened and I had to leave, or I kept talking about work that she'd just smile and look at me like: " ugh man..". Just an example. Could be going on and on about similar stories. I wanna stop lowering myself towards others. I wanna stop putting people in a pedestal and wonder if they like me. This is not who I am. But anxiety makes me this way.

I'm 24... I can't keep going on like this.