How's the beef?

There are plenty of good non-animal sources of protein such as seeds, nuts, pulses and cereals. There is also way more protein in the average Western diet than necessary.

Take it to a slaughter house that will break it down and wrap it for you.

Terrible trolling. Grow up.

Don't kill the family pet. If you want to become an omnivore, you need to make a slow transition, start with introducing little white fish [not fried] and perhaps a little low-fat dairy into your diet. Be pescatarian for a few weeks, then introduce a little chicken or turkey, and other meats after a few more weeks, with processed meats such as bacon and ham last. 

BTW If you are a young person under 18, you must respect your parents and carry on being veggie until you reach that milestone, and even if you are 18+ still respect your family by not eating meat, fish or dairy in front of them.

first tip, don't slaughter the cow...steaks from it will be like eating your shoes.

Second tip, be far more original in trolling. This was a terrible job at being a troll.

Be a better troll, more original at least.

In the islands we would gather around. An elder would give it a few good whacks with a machete in the neck and it would bleed out. From there we gut it and roast the portions skewered on a stick overhanging a fire. Modern Western practice involves a simple gunshot below the anium (the bump on the back of your skull posterior to the nasium, the divot in the bridge of your nose). After it is 'knocked out' the neck cut happens just the same and depending on where you are and your needs, you make cuts.

In the industrial world, the first cuts are primals furthering down to serviceable retail cuts like "T-bone" "tenderloin" etc.

I know you were making a crack but the truth of it is in a fitting parallel, if you can step back for a second and see, big fat aunt Karen the smartass vegan has no place in this world anymore than a cow does. The cow at least gave it's life to bring us food, keep us alive, and bring us joy. Karen gave people crap over their diet habits and died of necrotic sepsis from acquired type diabetes.

Starve the troll.

Here are home instructions (as well as info on commercial slaughter in case you want to doll it up a bit) https://www.wikihow.com/Slaughter-Cattle

And how to butcher https://www.wikihow.com/Butcher-Cattle

You can find videos of both on YouTube - I wasn't that into checking on them for you though.