should you put that you went to college on your resume even if you didn't graduate?

I think it's good to include.  You can just indicate where you attended and the years you attended.  But it does show that you completed some higher education, even if you didn't graduate.  They may ask why in an interview, and you have a very good reason to give.

it is one of those times,

when being honest doesn't hurt.

if you don't - how will you explain the gap.

How far did you get?  If you did not complete your first year, don't put it in your resume.  Do put in whatever year you completed.

if you learned something, it's important to let them know.

it doesn't look good that you didn't finish, but it's better than not having gone at all. especially if you got something out of it.

Generally, I would not include it, but ideally you should taylor your resume to suit the job you are applying for.   If some college classes you took apply to a job you are applying for, include them.   

Leave discussions of why you dropped out of college for the application process and interview process.