Was I right in this situation?

Question

I met a guy online who was younger than me. We actually went out once and spent the day together. After the date, he said I was nice but did not want any kind of relationship. We lost contact for a while and he found me on a date site. He began chatting with me by texting me every night for two months. He wanted to text me and flirt every now and then and see pictures of me in different outfits. He became mad when I said I felt uncomfortable flirting over text. I told him that it doesn't make sense to text every night unless we are going to meet. He said he was not comfortable to meet me just yet.  
 
He told me it took him a lot to step out of his "comfort zone" to see me and wished that I would not pressure him. He was like that the last time we met too. He was wanting to talk to me a lot through text but was reluctant to meet for lunch. I told him to please stop texting me unless he plans to see me. He told me I can't make him feel uncomfortable. Is it wrong for me to have said to him to stop texting me every night unless we are going to meet in person?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hmmm! He doesn't want you to push him out of his comfort zone, yet he's quite happy to push you out of yours.

Chanel · Answer

Don't be in a hurry to reply to his messages cos he could be playing games so let him play games to somebody else instead of you.

You could send a short message 'can't talk now. I'm busy'.

Then he may be more interested. Try it and then post back on this website as to how you are getting on.

L · Answer

Just leave him alone.............he already told you to STOP pressuring him.

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, this wasn't meant to be.  If you were looking for a relationship, as soon as you met in person and he said he wasn't feeling it, that should have been the end of your contact.

So you weren't wrong to tell him what you did, but I do think you made a couple of mistakes here.  You already knew he wasn't that into you, so what is the point of texting?  It's good you finally realized there was no point to it, but ideally you would have known this before wasting all that time on it.  I've seen people get in trouble with this, because then he starts taking up space in your head for no reason.  You were actually being unfair to yourself.

If you haven't already, just ghost him.

LiverGirl98 · Answer

You did what was right for you.  This person not wanting to feel rushed into meeting face-to-face does not negate what you need.  You have a different perspective, this dude has his mindset and both are valid for you respectively. You are comfortable setting the boundaries for yourself and now perhaps you will explore other 'meet in person' options.

Fireplace · Answer

Not at all wrong. He sounds like a big emo, who needs that?

? · Answer

Unfriend him immediately...….. Get Rid!

? · Answer

i think you did the right thing

Anonymous · Answer

He already told you he doesn't want a relationship.  Either continue on as friends or dump him.  The choice is yours to make.

A Hunch · Answer

Who the F cares if he texted,
You have the power to respond or not.
If you don't want to communicate with him because he only wants to flirt remotely, don't respond.

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Was I right in this situation?

13 Answers