Am I being a jerk for not inviting my husbands brother?

Question

I recently found out from my husband that his brother confessed to him that's he's been unhappy with his girlfriend of 10 years and is cheating on her. my husband suggested he break up with but his brother said he won't break up with her because she has mental health issues and doesn't want to hurt her so he's gonna continue to cheat on her until he figures it out. Whatever that means. Anyway we are having a little get-together for Christmas Eve and everyone in his immediate family is invited to our house except for his brother. I know his mom will be upset and blame be but I don't want him here. I don't want to sit around making small talk when we all know the situation but pretend it doesn't exist. Am I wrong?

Update:

To say that the problem is me in the situation is bullshit. I've done nothing wrong.

Update 2:

My husband ndient have to tell me but he did because he tells me everything we both do. We talk and communicate that's what couples do. And my mother in law already knows but lives in denial about it.

bluebonnetgranny · Answer

I think you are being a jerk by having people over for Christmas eve.  covid is killing people, innocent people & it is killing thousands each & every day..  Why do you only want to save his brothers life.  His business is his business & no others business.  Yes, sit pretend you know nothing about the affairs.  That is none of your business.

chris n · Answer

Your husband's brother's situation - weakness etc - is really NONE of your business.  He's told his secret to his brother - not to you.  You are making a judgement on him and have decided you are pure as the driven snow and won't invite him and his g/f because you are feeling holy.  The g/f is going to wonder what's wrong.  Are you planning to tell her?  I think you should mind your own business.  This is your husband's family business - you are an outsider so should keep your thoughts to  yourself.  If they want to pretend all is well, let them.  Just be polite.  I'm sure his bro knows how much you disapprove of him and you could take him aside privately and give him a piece of your mind.  You are risking upsetting your mother in law over something that isn't your business.  What sort of woman are you?

Pearl · Answer

i dont think so

a · Answer

No, you're not wrong. This is why people who cheat should keep it to themselves. Now, no matter what, you and hubby are the bad guys. You tell her, and she won't believe it and say you're trying to break her up. Don't tell her, she finds out you knew, and you didn't somehow stop him and she's embarrassed about being lied to.

here's what you say to BIL: Bed. Made. Lie.

here's what you say to BIL:  Bed. Made. Lie.

Anonymous · Answer

If you are qualified to be judge and jury, then you aren't wrong.  If you AREN'T qualified to be judge and jury, then you are wrong.  "Wrong" is about how you were raised.  I think the situation is sad AND I think your husband is a fool to share anything with you.  Your obsession with your brother-in-law's sex life is concerning.  Over and over - what response are you hoping you'll get?  Question after question about your brother-in-law (to whom you weren't speaking), your in-laws (in general), your husband.  Ever think the problem is you?

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Am I being a jerk for not inviting my husbands brother?

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