How do i fill the empty void i have?

First off, something important to understand is that the body, mind & soul are all very much connected. What you constantly think about & tell yourself is what will manifest itself through your life in physical form. 

 So pretty much what you constantly think about & tell yourself will truly become your reality & existence. A fulfilling life always starts with a good mindset because you can have all the worldly material things on the outside & still feel that void if you don’t fix yourself on the inside. Start telling yourself you ARE worthy of a beautiful life. You ARE worthy of an amazing girlfriend who treats you amazing. You DO have a good life with endless potential. These are the things you need to begin telling yourself. Start believing these things. 

 When I read your post I see a lot of negativity & downwards talk towards yourself. This will intern create a very negative reality for you. 

 If you want to start living a life you truly love you have to start from the inward, out. Instead of looking at all the negatives of life.. try to think of some positives. Like the fact that you even have a job to begin with in these hard times with a pandemic & many people jobless.   Instead of thinking to yourself how miserable it is that your ex has moved on, instead think to yourself “yanno what it might not have worked out between us for a reason & I trust that there is someone even better out there that WILL enter my life. Everything in life truly does happen for a reason & sometimes God removes things from our life so that he can intern replace it with what is truly meant to be there, something even better.. even when we don’t understand why & can’t see it clearly in the moment”. Instead of thinking about how much you hate your life think about how you even have breath to live. Many people died prematurely & accidentally & would have loved another day at life. Did you eat today? There are many people in this world who don’t know where they will find their next meal. Do you have a roof over your head? There are many who will die tonight because it was too cold for them to survive on the streets without shelter. 

 Let all this sink in & truly ask yourself if your life is really all that bad. A beautiful life always starts with a grateful heart. I’m not downplaying your struggles in any way I’m simply trying to help you understand that your life does matter & you do in fact have so much to be grateful for & look forward too. 

 You have one life & it is short indeed. Don’t spend it dwelling on the negative because there is always hope in tomorrow. You say “you just couldn’t make it in college” but who’s to say you can’t begin again?.. who is telling you that because you failed once you are incapable of trying again? Each & every day is a new beginning.. a new chance. Take a moment to look outside & simply breathe & enjoy this beautiful life you’ve been given. This beautiful world was literally created just for you, from the beautiful flowers to the sunset & morning skies & there is so much beauty & peace in that knowing. Whenever your feeling overwhelmed in life just take a minute to appreciate the simple. 

 Also if you’re suffering from depression which it sounds like you might be, I would recommend you try & find a doctor to help with that. Nobody deserves to feel awful

In life & you can’t possibly have a good mindset when the serotonin levels in your brain are imbalanced. 

 Have a blessed day, & remember you are so loved. 

in my opinion, try to find yourself, find your likes, try to get your dream job, try to re-apply to college, and try to become your best self while loving yourself 

just find something you enjoy and try to fill the void that way