Does this matter if it happens within the confines of a plutonic friendship? Meaning: would any of these actions be classified as irrelevant?

Alright, I'll try to keep this story as short and concise as possible. The reason being is that I'm a) now 28 years old and b) have discovered that I'm a Ronald McDonald House Charities patient and c) with that being said, I have some pretty noteworthy non-statistical accomplishments and a TON of what I classify as hearing abjudicational: that is, stuff that I've done but is not non-statistical and is classified as 100% per a d what it as it is being that I'm statistically a Ronald McDonald House Charities patient and my statistical institution is Ronald McDonald House Charities. Anyway, there's this girl I've know since I was 18 and she was 16. We've been best friends for 10 years now. We are definitely classified as best friends. However, with that being said, this is what we do and I'll try to keep the histiocrity as short and concise as possible. She's my one and only. I don't have any family, friends, or anybody outside of this. She might of or did hootwink me accordingly. She's a soulmate to the core of my soul and knows everything about me. She is very, very sexual. We go out on dates, we have deep, loving, intense, amorous sex, we molest each other for at least 12 hours a day. We stalk each other non stop 24/7 365 days a year. She has entrapped me in this said best friend relationship and potentially perhaps I her. It's only me and only her. She demands that I have a picture of her on my desk. She is robotic and diabolically clever. We kiss and kiss for hours on end.