My family is manipulative so I became explosive?

My family is very manipulative and narcissistic. They have always disrespected my privacy, my relationships with people, everything. They play mind games, talk behind my back, and are just basically the epitome of toxicity. It's almost as if they enjoy drama and can't live peacefully. They like to test me to see how far they can go. If I react calmly or try to talk things out like a decent human being, I'm seen as weak and they just brush it off and keep doing what hurts me. Same thing if I apologize for exploding, so I don't apologize anymore. They only listen and change if I act aggressively and scare them. It's exhausting and toxic and it's not who I am, but I don't want to get used to reacting this way. I've talked to them about this and they don't care (surprising, isn't it). Why are they like this? Has this happened to anyone else? I can't wait to earn my own money and leave this place.