momoftwo

I have recently started college, and I am taking online courses. My school has a "detect computer settings" thing that you have to do to be sure that your computer is compatible. I have Windows Vista Home Premium as my OS. However, when I run the dection test it tells me that I have Windows NT. As far as I know, that is a much older version of Windows. Has anyone seen this or know how to fix this problem??

I need to know what it is called and where I can find it. My kids would love this, but I don't remember what the name of it is and I can't seem to find it anywhere.

I watched the whole episode, but I missed the very end because my dvr changed to my other recording. Does anyone know who got voted off?

I want to open a small business. It will be a place for kids to go after school. There will be food, pool tables, fooseball, darts, video games, pinball, and a dance floor. I will also have tutors there to help with homework and stuff. It will be alcahol free, and I want the parents to know that their kids are safe there. My town desperately needs a place like this. However, I have no idea how to go about it. I have bought a couple of books and I am researching the funding that I need, but I would like your advice. Please share your advice, ideas, or experience with me. I want to know as much as possible going into this. If you know where I can find the info I need or tell me what I need that would be helpful! Thank you in advance.

I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

The Earth Is Full -- Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Post any that you have. I will give 10 pts to the funniest one.

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like

expensive perfume. She turns to the old Italian woman on the elevator with her and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"

Another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also

smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves she looks both beautiful women in the eyes, turns, bends over, and farts. "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."

Do you bite your baby's nails or do you clip them? Why?

Why do people answer your questions with nothing productive to say? They just voice their opinion on you question and offend you. Personally, I am sick of people answering questions by insulting the asker by saying things like...you shouldn't have kids. I am talking about serious questions. It really irritates me. We are here to get advice from others with experience. I appreciate all the helpfull answers that I get and that I read on other questions. Most of us are here to help. Does anyone think that it is wrong to answer questions this way? Is there anything we can do to stop it besides reporting them? Nobody here deserves this, we deserve respect!

1. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing is wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

2. Which word, if pronounced right, is wrong, but if pronounced wrong is right?

3. If you are in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove and a gas lamp. You only have one match, so what do you light first?

Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she decided to call a repairman.

He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him:

"I'll leave the key under the mat.

Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler, Brutus. He won't bother you.

But whatever you do, do NOT talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.

But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.

But the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself an longer and yelled:

"Shut up already, stupid bird!"

To which the parrot replied:

"Go get him, Brutus!

Okay, I watched The Class, but did not read this question until now, so I don't remember the answer. Does anyone know this one?

My daughter is in kindergarten. Yesterday it was raining and somewhat cold, and the school made the children play outside. It wasn't pouring, but she had to change her clothes in school because she was wet. She was coughing all morning today. I am very upset about this. Has anyone had a similar experience? What should I do to make this stop? I have called the school, but they say that it wasn't raining.

10 pts for the best.

I just had my computer upgraded to Windows XP Professional and DSL internet service. Whenever I click on a link in a webpage and it opens in a new window, everything locks up. I have to go to task manager and end program, then it tells me that program not responding. When I view the details it says that there are 10 missing program files. "There are 10 programs on your computer reference files that are inaccessable or cannot be found. This will cause programs to run improperly or not at all." I get the same message when I run WinDoctor, but they cannot be repaired automatically. What is wrong, and how do I fix it??

There is a woman on here who is posting questions in the parenting section, only they are not ansers, but she is insulting everyone and telling them they shouldn't have kids. This is bothering me, because people are looking for help and advice here, not ridicule.

I start with the letter 'e'

I end with the letter 'e'

I contain only one letter,

Yet, I am not the letter 'e'

What am I ?

Okay, this may be a stupid question, but I live in Michigan, and my nephew came home last school year with his math homework. Apparently, they are teaching kids this NEW MATH. He tried to show me how to do it, but it was completely backwards from what I learned. You subtract from left to right???? I don't understand this new concept. Does anyone have a website or something that can help me to learn this new way of doing math? My daughter starts school this year, and I want to be prepared.

1 door closes, 9 open. When 9 close, 1 door opens. What is it?

I can't find the answer to this riddle anywhere. I will give 10 pts to the person with the best solution.

Someone at a party introduces you to your mother's only sister's husband's sister in law. He has no brothers. What do you call this lady?

10 pts to first right answer

I am above you and below you.

I go up while I go down.

I can make your journey easy or make it hard.

What am I?