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1. Congratulations! You've won dinner for 1 at Ralph's Place.

2. You have WON again!!

3. Your recipe has been rejected. Please resubmit the seasonings.

4. Hello. I am a Nigerian Chef. Please consider my Scam Pie recipe.

5. Hot food chef looking for hot desserts.

House Speaker

Dennis Hastert said Tuesday he'll dismiss anyone on his staff found to have covered up concerns about ex-Rep. Mark Foley approaches to former pages.

Hastert said he huddled with his staff members last week and he believes they acted appropriately in handling information on Foley's conduct. But he also issued them a stern warning: "If they did cover something up, then they should not continue to have their jobs."

My SPIN is "If they were under the covers with Foley, then they should not continue to have their jobs."

Richard Nixon = "I am not a crook" !

Bill Clinton = " I did not have sex with that woman" !

George W Bush = " Mission Accomplished" !

Mark Foley = "I'm an alcoholic, I'm Gay, and I quit" !

Can you add to this list??

I cook for 2. I buy Russet potatoes in 10 pound bags. Some always seem to go bad before bag is empty. Storage? Freezing? Etc.?

I'm not looking for meal recipes, just a way to jazz up the rice with flavor and spices. Instead of using plain water, what can I add or substitute with? What spices or seasonings can be added during cooking, not after?

You have 20 pieces of wood. 3 are a foot long. 3 are 2 feet long. 6 are a yard long. 1 is an inch shy of four feet long. The other 7 are all 5 feet long.

Hou many inches of wood do I have?

You have 6 apples. You have 6 more bananas than you have apples.

You have 4 less peaches than you have bananas. You have four times the number of grapes than you have peaches. You have 1 whole coconut. You have 1 whole pineapple. You have 4 tomatoes. And you have 100 peanuts in their shell.

How many fruits do you have?

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Relate your scam experiences.

I have a large brown paper shopping bag full of different RED items.

Can you guess what they are?

1. It is a round red fruit.

2. It is 12" long, 2" diameter, and soft.

3. It has a zipper and 2 snaps.

4. It has laces to tighten it up.

5. It is long with a handle and a snap buckle.

6. It is 1.5 inches wide and 50 feet long.

7. It comes in two pieces and you wear it.

8. Everytime you use it, it gets shorter.

9. You can only use it once.

10. And the easiest one to figure out comes in a small bottle, comes with a brush and both men and women use it.

Good Luck Guessing.

Best answer to most correct answers.

I am attempting to!! The floor has never been redone and was covered with carpet (yuck, I like wood) for twenty years.

I don't get very much regular e-mail. I think Yahoo mail is the best. Well, it's free. I do however get lots of useless Bulk Mail. Here are some key words I'd like to see added to bulk email filters:

URGENT

FREE

YOU WON

LOTTERY

WE'LL PAY

888

BARON

$22 MILLION DOLLARS US

HOT

NUDE

WILD

AN INVITATION FROM

CONGRATULATIONS

&^%%&##)( Please respond!

Account needs updating

Your long lost cousin left you a million dollars

You are PRE-APPROVED

I'm available tonite

Tony wants you

elephant jerk suspenders weekend purple magic tonite

ON US

NEW DATE SITE

OK .................................I'm tired......... add to my list!!

I have an abundance of PLUM tomatoes. Can they be fried rather than made into a sauce? Would they be better sliced vertically or horizontally? Thick sliced or thin?

please don't answer with websites to look at. I know them all. :)

After going through all my emails today, I have won 22

laptops, 14 Ipods, and 19 cell phones. 200 of my former classmates are trying to contact me!! Also, I have won 6 overseas lotteries, so I am now a multimilionaire. I ordered 12 beers and they sent 12 cases for the price of a 12 pack. I won an item on Ebay worth $2000.00 and only had to pay $2.00.

Anyone else been as lucky?

My favorites are tomato soup based. I just use the liquid in veggie cans instead of water. Home made soups are so easy and can also be converted into interesting casseroles. Try this one: 1 can tomato soup, 1 can corn, 1 can green beans. Open three cans. Put soup in pot and then add corn and bean liquid. Bring to boil. Then add corn and beans and simmer. Helpful hint: To make creamy add a can of milk. To make a casserole add a sleeve of crunched up saltines. Pour mix in casserole dish. Top with cheese of choice and bake to suit!! I have lots of concoction meals! Share yours!!