raynestorm73

I have a friend who is in the ?process? of divorce. She cheated on him, after using drugs, which she had used early on in relationship until he said it's the drugs or me. 11 years later, 7 of which they were married, she went back on the drugs and cheated on him. I met him during the separation time, we dated for a short while before realizing there was nothing more than friends there. Then he took her back, I told him i had his back no matter what, and was there for him. Within 3 days, she was trying to get back with the guy she'd cheated on him with, and had used again. They worked it out. Then he found out she was still with the other guy, and decided to go through with the divorce.....and NOW might be giving her a third chance!!!!! (i have no romantic interest in this guy, we tried that, didn't work, only had friends in us) I again told him I had his back no matter what his choice, voiced my concerns (she's a cheating POS who doesn't deserve him) and am now going to hold my peace.....but damn it, how do I NOT tell this guy he's being stupid and just being emotional???? within 3 DAYS of deciding to work things out, she broke EVERY promise she made him in order to get back with him, and now she's making MORE promises, that he seems ready to accept? UGH, he's TOO intelligent for this, but I am going to do what I said and keep quiet. My concerns have been voiced, he's acknowledged them and stated he has the same, but damn it, he's better than this.

I have to make this brief, but will expand as needed. My boyfriend has been under a lot of stressors lately (i.e. relatively new job that sends him out of town a lot (which has impacted relationship a little), relatively new relationship (me), and yesterday found out his mom has been just about confirmed to have cancer.) He'd also had another recent stressor of a certification exam for work, which is now gone. he took it and passed.

So he called me tonight and said he needs a break. He further stated "not a breakup" and REALLY insisted on that. He said it's nothing with "us", just with everything going on, he needs to readjust.

He's never given me any reason to doubt that what he says is anything but the truth, and we've always had open communication.

BUT, "i need a break" is such a cliched thing. Is "i need a break" ever really just a break?

Ok. I'm not new to introducing new cats to existing cats.

I have a cat who is, as of now, my only cat. For the first few years of her life she was the new cat, got along fine with the older cat for two years, when they started fighting. Not play fighting, but full on fighting. At the time i was in a very abusive relationship, and looking back now, i think maybe the cats were picking up on the tension in the house and acting out by fighting. but i can't prove that. when i finally got up the gumption, with the help of friends and family, to get out of the relationship, I let my ex take the older cat (they absolutely adored each other, and while he was an abusive ****, he would never abuse that cat, or let anything happen to her, AND the cats had to be separated (i had been trying to rehome the younger), so it made sense to each take a cat.

Now, I work long days (12 hours) sometimes three to four days in a row, and my cat, precious baby that she is, is frantic for attention when i get home, and then when i wake up in the morning. She's lonely as best i can figure.

I checked with the vet, who says a kitten might help (but you don't know until you try it). Bandit (the cat) has only ever known one other cat (the one that went with the abusive ex), who she got along great with for two years, they'd play, and groom each other, and sleep together (until they started fighting, and again, looking back, i think they were picking up the bad vibes in the house.

I've noticed a lot lately, when my cat is playing with her little toys, she will catch them, then sit on them a short while, before batting them around, and again sitting on them. Sometimes she will even just walk across the room to where she left a discarded toy hours earlier, just to sit on it. Does anybody know why she does this?

I'm curious. I'm not aiming to dig (i.e. make fun of) taylor swift, but i hear her pre teen songs all the time on the radio (sometimes twice in ten minutes, same song!!!!!!!), but her songs don't sound country, don't have the country beat, nothing. Even hearing it many times in a short space of time don't make me think country, all I think is pre teen pop. I don't hear country, she doesn't SOUND country, the backup music doesn't sound country, so why is she considered country?

and yes, this is a serious question

This is something I'm really curious about. Having been raised in a strictly christian household, it was crammed down our throats every day of our childhood lives. We all bought it hook line and sinker for a while, until we were old enough to really think for ourselves. two of us have gone the way of atheists, two have not. two others i don't know about their beliefs, but think they tend to lean away from there being a god. now having come to the realization that our parents (i love them very much) basically lied to us all those years, there is a bit of anger at the attempt at indoctrination.

so, with back story out of the way, which was necessary for the question.

wouldn't it be better to wait until your children have developed good thought and critical thinking abilities before handing them religion? let them look at what you are giving to them, and read it, and ponder it, before making a decision on whether it's for them or not? would save a lot of anger and frustration later. When they start asking questions about your beliefs would be a good time to talk to them, they're curious, and asking for it, not having it forced on them. they might never ask, might choose to pursue their own beliefs, in another religion, or secular, or even *gasp* atheist. but the child has the right to look at all the facts, when he/she can understand them, and then make an informed decision about what he/she believes. Does this make sense?

Don't you think you should wait until a child is old enough to understand what he/she is being told, and to know to question what he/she is being told, and to also be able to do the research to see if mom and dads religion is something they'd like, or even another religion, or maybe none. they'd be happier for it, and more secure in it, and not later feel resentment when they break free from the forced religion.

at such time as i have a child, i won't preach my athiesm at him, but a child of mine comes to me about religion, i'll answer what i can, show him how to research it, and how to make an informed decision on what he wants to believe in.

all answers accepted, although thought out legitimate answers prefered.

i have a boyfriend, we've been together for about six years.

i want to be rid of him, but don't know how. i do love him, or he wouldn't still be here, BUT, i've been with him for about six years, he's worked for about half of that six.

we had issues where he, er, wouldn't, er, trying to think of polite way to say it, but i guess there isn't. he wouldn't put out. i got this guy, who i love to death, but won't have sex, won't be intimate at all............we were so poised to go our own ways...............until he let me know that (i always assumed he could stay with his mom) his mom had basically disowned him.

this guy won't get a job, won't put out, won't be intimate at all, and i'm sick of it, how the heck do i get rid of him?

he doesn't have a job, anywhere to go, if i kick him out, he's got nothing, but i love him, how can i do that to him??????? we just recently (this is where i was almost rid of him) moved from CT to CA (connecticut to california), i was so so so so so close to being rid of him, but he all of the sudden solved a couple of the issues we'd been having, and i gave in, and he moved out here with me. i'm a sucker, what can i say.

but now we're here, in cali, and i have tons of family and friends, and he has none, and i want him gone, cause he's so bad, but, how do i do it?

he's got nothing here.

i have a cat, who i love dearly, BUT she's recently started fighting with our older cat.

They've been together two years, but recently (past year or so) started fighting. I'm not talking play fighting, they are fighting (fur flying, claws dug into each other, fighting). The younger is definitely an alpha female. the older more submissive, but their personalities, all of the sudden, are not meshing. It's bad. Very bad. One cat is now confined (from fear of the other) to one half of the apartment. The other has full rein, cause she's not scared. They can't live like this anymore, the younger has got to go to a no other cat home.

what's the best way (i've as of tonight started looking) to rehome her, and to know that she's going to a good place? I'm trying with friends first.

And yes, i've tried every other option i can think of to prevent having to rehome her, i LOVE this cat.

I'm leery that if i post her on a public site, that she'll be python food, i'm worried that if she goes to a shelter, she'll be euthanized. so the option is, she's staying here, until i find here a new home.

but how do i know that the home she's going to is good? This is one of my babies, i love her, but i have got to give her away. she does not get along well with other felines, and she's one of two, and she's the younger. She's a good cat, just doesn't do good, recently (going close to a year now) with other cats.

Ok, I recently moved home to california with a boyfriend in tow. My family has major issue with him. He drinks more than is healthy, and he's not currently employed, and it's been awhile since he's been employed.

Not too long ago, we were ready to go our separate ways, due to major issues, those issues have since resolved. Only issues now are the drinking and the job.

Now, before my family even met him, my mother admitted that nobody was happy he was coming with, and would be more than happy if we went our separate ways. (my father said "we should give him a chance")

Now my boyfriend does have some issues. He does drink, and he's currently unemployed (hopefully that will be resolved soon, because i have made it clear to him that i will not support him indefinitely). He also really really likes breasts, and thats something my family is not short on, making it hard NOT to look. Heck, if i see a hot guy walk by me i'm going to look, period. Looks good, i'm going to look, and i figure he'll do the same. Looking isn't a problem, touching is.

Anyhow, after all this rambling, heart of the question. My family is prejudging him based on his job status.

They are not giving him a chance, with the exception, maybe, of my dad.

He really wants to get to know them, and be on good terms with them, but after only a couple episodes of meeting them, they're all "he's horrible, he's not good, he's bad, he's..........etc etc.

I love my family, desperately, but I also love my boyfriend. I'm actually missing a thing that is very special to my sister because boyfriend wasn't welcome. When I first asked him to go, he didn't want to, but he thought about it, and knew I would like to go and that I would like him to go, and that my sister didn't like him. He thought, well, i don't want to go be around that, but it's important to you, so i'll do it. and then my sister said "he's not welcome". He's very hurt by this.

They've had very little interaction with him ( i lived 3000 miles away for quite a while and just recently moved back), since i work nights now (since being home), but they've already formed an opinion of him. A lot of that opinion of him is based on things that don't have to do with his personality. He is not a bad guy, they just feel that he's leeching off me and will never work and is just not a good person (plus since he likes breasts, which my family is NOT in short supply of, they feel he ogles). I'm sorry, you see something you like, you look, i don't know that i ever saw him "ogling".

Anyhow, this has been rambling, but my family is predisposed to NOT like him, he wants to get to know them and be on good terms with them.

How do I resolve this?

Getting past preconceptions is hard, because, as you know, you go into something knowing how you think a person is, you're going to find ways to justify it.

How do i resolve this?

I'm not sure what category to post this under

i've heard several times over the past month a high screeched squawk (best i can describe it) at night. now i grew up in san diego, never heard or saw a bat that i know of, but since i've been back in the past month, have heard that squawk, and seen what i think is a bat fly by. best i can describe the sound is a "squawk" (as in that is what is sounds like), and usually when i look up i see something that is obviously not a bird, and i highly suspect to be a bat...........now this question is kinda round a bout

does anybody know where i can find recordings of the sounds bats make in san diego (i've googled it and gotten no good results), and i've always heard rumors of there being bats here, but have never seen them (until the last month or so?????? and i can't swear, but i hear that squawk, look up, see that shape, and i think bat). if there are really bats hear, why didn't i see/hear them growing up, and why am i only seeing them now? if they are bats.

this doesn't seem to be a problem if you click on one of the stories underneath (i.e. local) but on their featured stories, more often then not, you click on it, it comes back bad request. anybody know why? is this just more bad yahoo maintenance?

Ok, I had rented a uhaul truck to move myself and boyfriend from ct to cali, initially no real issues (except a mirror that readjusted itself every time you hit a bump). We had made it into texas, and were rapidly heading towards el paso, which was our planned stay over for the night. The engine starts making noises out of nowhere. A rattling type noise, no noticable difference between speeds and performance otherwise, but it's making me nervous. It seemed to get quieter after the engine shifted (was an automatic), initially. We pulled off the highway at a rest stop, to see if we could see anything obvious, and to let the vehicle cool a little. Then headed back out (we were in the middle of NOWHERE literally). Now as we are driving, i'm noticing that while, initially, you applied the brakes, the rattling would stop, within minutes the rattling is constant, stopped or not. Luckily there was ONE gas station and the second we pulled up to the pump, the oil light came on and the truck really started rattling. Needless to say shut it down, RECHECKED the oil, which was full, so it's probably oil pump. Called uhaul roadside emergency, who had a towtruck out to us relatively quickly (an hour). he also briefly turned the vehicle on. He said he were very very lucky, that this engine was at most seconds from seizing. (just LOVE how the oil light comes on AFTER the fact!)

So after a lengthy story to lead up to my question. What would have happened if that gas station had been even a mile further down the road? I'm driving a fully loaded 14 foot uhaul truck, which is towing a fully loaded 88 chevy caprice. The cab of the truck being filled up with me, my boyfriend and two cats in kitty carriers. We're on the interstate, so it's high speed. How bad could this have been? As I understand it, engine seizes while driving, it's ugly, as it is with sheer luck we got to a safe area, and no crashes, injuries or deaths occured.

So if you know anything about engines seizing (especially with a fully loaded uhaul towing a car) would love to see your input.

My boyfriend has recently made a friend of a neighbor with three dogs. He goes over to visit her a lot, which is cool, they're friends. But it seems to me they spend an awful lot of time together. I've met her once, because she came over to introduce herself. She thought it was only right that she met me since she was friends with my b/f.

This is not a problem. I don't care if he has male or female friends. Friends are friends.

BUT he spends an awful lot of time with her. I wake up, he's not here, he's there. He even spent a night (on her sofa) and i only know that because he told me he did.

BUT the past two days, he's barely been here, he's been there, for several hours, and the past two days i know it's cause she has a sick (old) dog, who is getting ready to pass, and is having a rough time, which is understandable, and needs a friend (i've had pets pass, it's not a fun, pretty process), so he's there, i can't stay mad at him for that, i mean, she's losing a family member.

but i'm fuming inside.

there's a lot that that is not in this question, but, am i wrong to be jealous? my guy is spending so much time with another woman, granted, at least the last couple days it's cause he's taken her to the vet with her dog, but........erg, am i just being a "typical" female and being too jealous?

Another thing, we'd been on the point of breakup for so long, and then he all of the sudden got all lovey. He still is all "lovey" And her coming over to introduce herself,, is that to ward off suspicion? or an innocent (which i think) gesture to say "hey, i've been hanging out with your guy, but want you to know there's nothign going on?"

I am very envious of the time he spends with her, especially since we've recently started mending things. Should i be so jealous, especilaly if she has a sick dog?

I'm just wondering what is a good graduation present for a young lady graduating high school? It's for my niece.

I saw a movie awhile back, and unfortunately i don't know if my details will narrow it down much.

The movie is about an epidemic, altho they never come out and say it, in fact in the movie "cause of transmission" is unknown, they imply that it's sexually transmitted. People that come down with it are marked with (i think a Q, might be a C) and forced into quarantine.

The movie begins with a female, if i remember right, being pursued, she gets caught, and the tattooed mark is revealed.

There are two main characters, one who has it, and is on the run, the other who doesn't, and they fall for each other. Towards the end he's taken to quarantine and she breaks in to see him.

If i remember right, the male character is played by a black man, and the female white (i think she's called blue).

i know it's not a lot of details, but about what i can remember about it. I would really like to know the name of the movie if anybody knows, and can deduce it from my scant details.

With all the crap in the news about the difference in children today, as opposed to last generation, and generation before that, I think there's one thing that might show a generation gap, that one little thing we all looked forward to desperately during school.

RECESS!!!!!

So i'm wondering, and I welcome all ages to answer this. What did you typically do (or typically do now if you are still in school) during recess.

I'll start. I played jumprope, chinese jumprope (and another rope game i'm not sure of the name, but you had a straight rope, between two people, and had to jump over it, and it went higher and higher each time, there was a "mother" and "daughter" if the "daughter" didn't make the jump, the "mother could save her), as well as colored eggs, tag, freeze tag, etc.

Am I the only one who hates the new yahoo page? And is there a way to get rid of it and go back to the old one like there used to be?

We just lost a cat recently, last wednesday, after a quick unexpected illness. Our two remaining cats are obviously missing him. One is just running around occasionally looking for him. The other, who was much closer to him, is obviously distressed and grieving. She's running around, yelling, searching, tail lashing, just distressed. Now, i KNOW cat's grieve the loss of a friend/companion/etc.

What I want to know, is how can we ease her grieving? She's getting a little clingy, i think every time either one of us moves, she thinks we're gonna lead her to Smoky (the kitty who left us), Plus every time either one of us goes to the kitchen, she runs and yells for food (even tho food is always out) and she got wet food earlier in the day.

I know she's grieving, missing her older brother, who left much too soon.

So my question is, what can I do, is there ANYTHING i can do to ease her grief?

I'm making an appointment ASAP for this cat (have already left message for vet). But am curious as to ideas what's wrong. This is a cat who's always been healthy, is four years old. He always been skittish, so didn't think anything of it when he's not seen for a couple days, as that's not out of the ordinary. However, he's now noted to barely be coming out of the closet. My boyfriend found him in the closet and picked him up, immediately noting that he's lost weight, at least a pound. The cat is also occasionally sneezing, and hasn't been seen to eat in at least a couple days.

A couple weeks ago he appeared to have a runny eye, which cleared up on it's own within a day, so i don't know if this has anything to do with it. I did not note a runny nose when i caught him today (after i came home from work and boyfriend pointed out he's not eating, and occasionally sneezing)

The cat is definitely lighter, and hiding more than normal. I am getting him to the vet asap, if my vet can't see him by monday, or if he gets ANY worse he will go to emergency clinic, but i am curious as to ideas of what is wrong. He's always been healthy.

Ok, I understand there are reasons people need to have religion, for different people, there are different reasons.

But, i guess to ask my question, i have to lay the groundwork, it's a long story, but i will shorten it as best i can, and out of respect for religious people, i will tone down how i word things, cause this really has me worked up.

I have a sister who is TOTALLY into religion. She wasn't always. She's done just about every drug in the book, and thank goodness she's off those now. When she got pregnant with her first child, seh was still doing those numerous drugs, until she found out. She did stop everything cold turkey, when she found out she was pregnant, with the intention that once baby is out drugs are back in, thankfully this didn't happen. But she traded one addiction for another. Religion.

I don't say this to be nasty, it's just how she has gone into it.

She has since married the father of her first child, divorced him, married another and borne four more children.

Ok. Here's the thing, her first child has many issues, maybe coming from broken home, maybe coming from the mother (who is now oh oh oh so religious) telling her as a toddler "i should have aborted you" and "it's your fault i married your father". Ok, these are hard thing to hear growing up, and this isn't even getting into the question yet.

So, this child, my older sisters first born, which happens to be the oldest of my numerous nieces and nephews, has many issues. She's hyperactive, for one, immature, no social skills, some psychological issues as well, probably from her equally drug doing father.

Anyhow, this child (who is now grown to adulthood) has faced many adversities. She's also a very bright (albeit hyper) woman, and has been since she was a little girl. She started playing the piano at 3 years old, by ear, with no lessons. She would hear a song, and sit down at my parents piano and play it, beautifully. She was about six when she started writing her own songs. As she got older, she realized she liked writing, and drawing. But given her creative turn of mind, she liked the fantasy genre, wizards, princesses, quests, etc. and that's what she wrote/drew.

Now her mother (my sister) forbade her to do these things! She said they were demonic.

Er. Yeah, ok.

I let that slide, i hated to, but when it comes to raising a child, you have the right to raise them as you see fit, when it comes to religion, but i guess i didn't see how far she took this.

Anyhow, i am rambling, but mother and child just can't get along, you have a very very creative, talented child, being stifled by a mother. Cover story being religion. What you're doing is "bad" it's "demonic". No it's not, it's being creative, it's writing a FANTASY story!!!!! it's drawing FANTASY pictures!!!!!!

Anyhow, again, i am making this a short story, long as it's going so far!

Mother and daughter don't get along, so daughter goes and lives with grandparents, goes to regular school, makes friends, starts to devlelop social skills, and has since moved on with her life,.

In the meantime. Mother gets very ill while pregnant, which she did with all but her first born (which is the one she couldn't give the time of day to). Mother is flown, emergently to hospital to be emergently delivered of a child, in order to save both mother and child. Original daughter is very very scared for her mother, and wants to go see her. Daughter's uncle is going to pay the plane ticket, and accomodations if need be to get daughter to her mother's bedside.

Mother says "i don't want to see her".

What? because she's creative? She's your daughter!!!!!!!!! So you're no longer married to her father, so you've since remarried to somebody who's religious, she's still your daughter!!!!!!!!

And tonight was the clincher.

Mother is visiting with our parents. I tell her "i want some pics!" cause i haven't any recent pics of her and hubby and younger children. (oldest daughter is twenty, with the youngest about two, all with current hubby eight and under).

Mother says "i have some awesome pictures. i got some pictures of our parents with all their grandchildren in front of their house".

Now, i know her oldest child is in another state, and not in front of the house to be photographed.

and i say "except for (will leave name blank)"

mother says "oh, yeah, her..........you're right".

this bugs me.

very very very much.

this is a child that did nothing against her mother besides be creative, but her mother, got religion bad, bad, bad. to the point that this is the addiction she traded drugs for. She now has a religious husband, and religious children, and can just discard the original child? that was born when she was drugged out? with a drugged out father? because she doesn't see eye to eye?

what gives??????? how can you justify this under religious principles? this bugs me very very very much.