b4iquit

If you know you should stop cutting, but don't want to... how do you.. or at least how do you reduce it down? I stick to my legs so no one knows... but I am not usually this compulsive. I don't seem to be able to hold the thought that its wrong?

With respect, no answers about me needing therapy help. That is not possible, not really... Not on this... or other things...

Thanks in advance...

I have this ongoing battle of wills with myself. I always win the day by absolutes. I decide and I do, no alternatives allowed that don't fit the plan, fight the fight, first and foremost. Now I want to change, not deal in absolutes. But I am so use to controlling myself, I don't know how to break the mold. How to lessen the rigid control I exercise over myself. A discipline of the mind that has outlived its purpose. How do you win an argument with yourself when you have never suffered an argument, an alternative way, to exist before?

I mean music that fills you, whatever the genre. For me Nightwish EPICA, Anathema, Moonspell and HIM are like that. It seems I only have to give into the music a little further I will forget myself, forget how to get back. It seems so tempting to do that, to take the next step. Does music do that to anyone else?

I mean music that fills you, whatever the genre. For me Nightwish EPICA, Anathema, Moonspell and HIM are like that. It seems I only have to give into the music a little further I will forget myself, forget how to get back. It seems so tempting to do that, to take the next step. Does music do that to anyone else?

I have no idea what category this should go in.

I agreed to this drug (deptran) a year ago, but don't see the point of it, is there any reason not to go cold turkey and cease taking it straight away. My intent is to stop taking it as of today. Should be alright, but eh, may as well check? I was going to say "I have this friend who..." but what the heck I couldn't do it. So is it ok?

I really should not answer questions that draw me to my own anguish; I just pain to read suffering because I know it so well. I am so glad that most of you have no first hand knowledge of what abuse and torture and truly bad **** can do to your true self. From 3yr to 17 it was all I knew. I see teen boys and panic that they might be living it, with no one caring. An over reaction, but the fear is there.

I am convinced the damage can not be undone. My question, do you think God would forgive suicide in any circumstance. Or maybe it’s not even a sin, the bible does not say thou shall not find the peace thou needs, does it. I think he would forgive in some cases, I am counting on it, sometimes I start down that path without any conscious thought, I just realize suddenly that all is ready. That’s when the debate and argument with my inner self becomes intense. It will win. This is a serious question, for neither atheists nor the religious right, although I acknowledge all can answer

I have had rheumatoid arthritis for a long time (since my teens) and when ever it flares up above the usual I get fairly sick as well. I run a small fever, vomiting, headaches and extreme tiredness. All of which can last over a week and can occur every month or so. In some ways its like having the flu with the RA. I have been taking methotrexate for years now. Other drugs either did nothing or made me more unwell (SulfurSalazine) than the methotrexate does. I also drink, and I mean drink, fish oil.

Do others with RA react this way regularly to RA flair ups? Cos I am sick of it myself.

Well I have trawled through questions and answers and yet there is a heckle culture against those who struggle to get by with depression or suicidal obsessions. Many answers say to ring some anonymous help line to solve all problems, or relax and know that God will fix it. I am so very tired. Is there no answer for people like me, who are so totally contaminated that all they want is peace? So what’s the real question in all this, yes, its part statement, but the question is what it always is, how can I sever myself from the mess that destroyed me? To the ones who want to encourage me to jump, I need no encouragement so save your effort and to the ones who want to give me bible versus, save it and have a great day and to the ones who want to say remake myself, been there several times. I don’t think I could or would want to divulge fully what was done to me, so words are probably a dead end. Yet I feel some compulsion to put this out there.

If your upbringing was seriously odious in more ways than anyone would want to image, so much so that survival itself shaped the person, can the person ever be free that past? Talking of it does not help, although the person did try, just once, by disclosing bits around the edges to a Psychiatrist, but it was a disaster. It was too overwhelming. Through such an upbringing between the ages of 4 and 20 the person is the sum of the abuse, violence, disgust, torment, neglect and fear that were their daily existence. An adult can escape the outside façade of their lives, their physical environs, by relocating, changing employment, habits, cloths, appearance and associates. This has been done. But is it not a person’s inability to escape their self that leads them to suicide? To seek to the grail of peace it offers. How can such a person ever escape the wealth of darkness within?

Anti-depressants, counseling, group therapy, physical activity, denial and religion are common ways of dealing with harsh pasts, but can these ever resolve anything. If you are a product of your life’s experiences, and if you upbringing was characterized by living nightmares (seriously heinous) and days are impossibly difficult to charter can you ever escape what made you. Can you overcome yourself? I don’t believe people talking about their past helps, it just freshens it up for another assault. So how can you separate your ongoing self from past events that so totally shaped you? Is it not our inability to overcome ourselves that leads some people to suicide? If there is a way, besides lobotomy, to permanently move on and stop reliving those nightmares surely it’s a well kept secret, or can you tell me “how do you overcome yourself?”