Katie V

We have had wooden (butcher block) kitchen counter tops for the past 8 months, and I have tried numerous treatments, but nothing seems to waterproof or seal them, and within a few weeks they are as dull and porous as ever. These are the products I've tried: beeswax, mineral oil, hard wax oil, microcrystalline wax, and ronseal antibacterial butcherblock oil. For each Ive done at least two coats, and sanded between each different type. I've heard good things about waterlox, but its not available in the uk. I'm currently looking at shellac pros and cons. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I think (though I don't know how long it's going to last) my husband left me last night. Basically, he's a bit insane (though unfortunately, not diagnosed as such). Yesterday morning, our cat ran out of the front door while I was leaving for work. Though he's been injured recently, I didn't think much of it, as I thought the back door was open and he would just go around and go back inside once he was ready. I obviously didn't think too much about it during the day, so when we came home from work, my husband found that the back door had been closed, and that our cat had been outside all day (it's in the 50s here now, so not freezing). He called him in, and then in all seriousness accused me of trying to kill him. I know, wtf?! It was a simple accident, and obviously I'm not trying to kill the cat- it's almost too ridiculous to type. Anyway, he went on to say that I've put too many limitations on his love of animals, that I've already had two cats done against his wishes and forced him to sell 3 kittens (we're down to 8 cats now- 7 more than I want). He said that he would leave and stay away until I agreed to his following demands: 1. He would get total say on how many cats we have, and that no further cats would be neutered or sold, and that he wishes to continue breeding non-pedigree cats, 2. He gets total say in what and how many other animals we get (we have two chickens, and I know he wants at least a few more, as well as a goat and God knows what else), 3. He wants me to demonstrate to him that I can care for and "love" the animals by feeding and cleaning up after all the animals every day. 4. He wants me never to complain about the animals, their soiling of the house, or the cleanliness around the children. Yeah, so unless I agree to all of these things, he's not going to come home. I don't even know what to say- he's refusing to compromise or talk rationally with me about this After he said all this, he went to his parents' house, and I presume that's where he'll stay. So, unsurprisingly, I don't intend to remotely agree to any of that garbage- it would basically be agreeing to live in animal squalor with a toddler and newborn and with no say or recourse. So, I don't know what to do from here. If we divorce, I worry about custody, as I would want to return to the States with my daughter (she and I are both American, but we live in the UK). And if we get joint custody (which would be likely, as he's a respected doctor earning 5 times what I do) and I'm forced to stay in this country, I don't know how I could live on my own and support myself on my paltry salary. Even if he did agree to let me live with my daughter in the States, I don't have a job there (though being a nurse, I could probably get one), and being 14 weeks pregnant I would need health insurance, as there's no way I can afford pre-natal care out of pocket. Good lord, this sounds like some Hallmark movie- blech. So, while I don't want to break up our family (my daughter needs her father, and he is doting on her), I am not about to agree to his insane demands and basically give up my life (and possibly health) to look after his mad menagerie. Anyway, any input or ideas you guys might have would be great.

I'm an American who's been living in the UK for the past 5 years, and about to embark upon buying our first house, and I'm at a loss as to why most (if not all), British homes still have unsightly water radiators in each room. I've seen this in old and new buildings, so it's not as if there's no way to update for technology. I've never seen a house here with the type of heating I'm used to, which is the forced-air furnace type of heating, the kind where you have the registers built into the floor. I've been told by a few builders that those types of heating would never cope with British winters, but I have yet to see a winter here as cold as those I've experienced in the Midwest, and our forced-air furnace coped just fine. Anyone have any ideas? The entire concept of heating through forced-air seems ludicrous to any Brit I've talked to. Thanks!

My husband and I went on vacation for 2 1/2 weeks, and left our 4 week old kittens at home (with their mom and a pet sitter/house cleaner visiting twice a day). We just gotten back, and the room they were in reeks!! There was dried poop everywhere (must be dried pee as well, just can't see it on a black floor), and the smell about knocked us over. We've done the obvious (changed the litter, cleaned out the poop, put the kittens in another room) and I've mopped several times with vinegar/disinfectant/freshener. Whatever we do, it doesn't seem to make a difference. We've got laminate flooring, so at least there's no carpet to deal with. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to make the smell go away? It's really smelling up the whole house. Thanks!

For the past two weeks, our daughter has been absolutely inseparable from her new shoes. She screams if we try and take them off (even to change her), and it's even gone so far that she won't sleep without them. I try and choose my battles, and so I've not insisted that she sleep without them, but we have tried to remove them while she's sleeping, and she wakes up and cries until they're back on. We've tried her with her other older shoes, and she's beginning to do the same thing. There's nothing physically wrong with her feet (my husband's a doctor and checked her over), but this is a bit strange. She's otherwise bright and sociable- has anyone experienced anything like this, and is it normal?

Our cat had a single kitten, who is now 12 weeks old, and the two are inseparable. The mother cat is very protective of her kitten, and has continued to nurse her. The kitten is eating solid food, mind you, but they'll often snuggle together and nurse. It's not bothering me at all, it's just in the books I've read about raising kittens, most are completely weaned by 6 weeks and the mother's protective instinct wears off. Is this normal, and has anyone experienced something like this? PS- She's my first kitten, I've only had adult cats, so I'm still on a learning curve.

Hi- We live in the North of England (near Manchester), and I have a few bags of tulip and daffodil bulbs that I never got around to when I got them in November. Is it too late to plant them? I planted loads in the front yard, but had bought bags for the backyard, and just never got to it. Also, when can I start planting veggies- tomatoes, squash, peppers and the like? Thanks!

We're going to start introducing our 3 week old kitten to a litter tray, and wanted some advice on kitty litter. We currently use the wood-based pellet variety, which our adult cats like, but is this safe for a kitten? I know there are dangers associated with clumping clay litters, so we won't be using those. What is recommended?

Just another quick question- our 3 week old kitten's paws are ginormous. They're 1/3 the size of her mother's (our adult cat), and the ratio of paw to leg puts you more in mind of a lion cub rather than a kitten. They're all symmetrical, and the vet check was fine, but I'm just wondering if giant paws = giant cat? Her mother's not that big (7 lbs), but this little one already weighs 1lb (we weigh her on our baby scale- we're such nerds). We're not feeding her, so it's not that- she's still exclusively nursing.

Our cat had a surprise single kitten about 3 weeks ago, and after the initial check by the vet at 2 days old, she determined that it was a girl. While we'll of course take the kitten back for her 6 week check, I'd like to name her before that time, but I don't want to get the gender wrong. I've read in various cat books (we've been reading up since our crash course in kittens), and have heard that vets can get it wrong initially, particularly in one so young. I've heard that you can also determine the gender by coat color- well, she's got black and brown stripes across her body, grey and black striped legs, white paws and tummy, and an orangey striped face (yeah, she's a bit patchwork, but it blends). I'm pretty sure she's female, but just wonder if people knew anymore than I did if any of these color designations were genetically linked to gender.

My husband and I just returned from a 2.5 week trip, and found that our cat (Athena) had a kitten while we were gone. We did not leave the cats unattended- my mother-in-law came every day to play and spend time with them and give them fresh food and water- none of us knew she was pregnant. Prior to our leaving, there was no change in her appearance or behavior- if we had known or suspected anything, we would not have gone, and feel terrible that we weren't here for her. The thing is, I only found one kitten. I immediately took mom and kitten to the vet, where they checked out fine (by the way, she's had her vaccines, no fleas and I wormed her about 6 weeks ago). The vet said that while it would be unusual, it is possible to have a singleton litter (which may explain why we didn't notice any change in her appearance), but more likely that she's hidden her other kittens elsewhere. My husband and I have turned our house (and the yard) upside down looking for other kittens, and can't find any. Athena seems to be a good mom, and rarely leaves the side of her kitten. That being said, when we put down wet food for her, she gobbles it and then runs to the bedroom (where I found the kitten), and goes back to the same spot and seems to call for other kittens- but we can't find any! The vet said that the kitten is a good weight (9.5 oz) and is between 3 - 10 days old (no umbilical stump, but her eyes aren't open yet). Is there anything we can do to locate any other possible kittens? I realize that time is of the essence here. We've looked under beds, furniture, in cabinets and drawers- nothing (and no mewling). Has anyone else experienced missing kittens and/or a singleton litter? Thanks! Oh, by the way, we are certainly keeping the new kitten.

My 18 month old has always refused to eat meat. We try to make up the protein content with beans and dairy, but we worry about her not getting enough. We give her toddler formula, so she gets all her vitamins/minerals, but we'd prefer her to get it from a more natural source. She's just so picky- even if we cut up meat as small as possible (or use ground meat and hide it in a sauce), if she feels it in her mouth she spits it out and stops eating all together. I realize that this it's quite common for toddlers this age to be picky, but is there anything I can do to encourage her to eat meat? Her weight and development are fine, we'd just like to give her a more balanced diet.

My daughter is 17 months old (soon to be 18), and my husband and I are concerned that her speech is a bit delayed, as my in-laws recently pointed out that she should really be talking more often (they're doctors). She doesn't join many words together yet (the lone exception is 'catty no no!'- which we're surprised at, because we don't really tell the cat 'no'). They've insisted that she should be speaking much more and forming sentences. We've been working with her with word cards and games, which she enjoys, but I think she's doing just fine. Below are a list of words that she consistently says. Please tell me what you think- is she a bit delayed, or normal for her age? Thanks!

Words she says:

Catty (the name of the family cat)

No (or, 'no no')

Yeah

Nana (for banana)

Yum

Apple (pronounced 'appuh')

Bottle (pronounced 'bahdoo')

toast (pronounced 'toes')

up

down

Bye bye

Hello

Shoe

Nose

Eyes

Keys

Teeth

Ball

dog (pronounced 'dah')

elephant (pronounced as a word fragment- 'ella')

mama

dada

Now I know she's approaching the 'terrible twos' but I'm trying to find the best way to handle and curtail her latest temper outbursts. When she's told 'no' or gets frustrated with something (such as when the shapes won't fit in the shape sorter, or her tower of blocks gets knocked over), she throws whatever is in her hands down, often sweeps the table or throws whatever is in the vicinity, and lays down dramatically on the floor. I usually pick her up and put her on the very large dog bed (long story, we don't have a dog, so it's clean-ish and she likes to lay on it) or I leave her where she is laying and tell her calmly 'no, this is not appropriate behavior' and let her go through the tantrum with minimal attention from me. When she has calmed down I hug her and tell her that I love her, but that specific behavior is not appropriate, and we move on. So, my question is, is this the right thing to do? I want to do what's best for her (as every mother does), and we're a calm and loving household, so she's not imitating any learned behavior by throwing things. Any suggestions as to what I can do to improve? When she's not frustrated or being chastised, she's a loving and bright girl. Thanks!

My 16 month old daughter has recently had a rather extended and nasty bout of the flu (it lasted 2 weeks), and during that time, she refused most foods and drank only sparingly (despite us desperately trying to feed her). She's just started to be herself these last few days, and suddenly now has diarrhea. My husband weighed her this evening (we weigh her once a month), and found that she has lost 1kg from her previous weight (she's now 10.8kg). She's gone from the 91st centile to the 50th! Despite the current diarrhea and previous flu, she seems happy and has been playing all day, but still has little appetite (and we're trying now to hydrate her for the diarrhea). Here's the problem- my husband is a doctor, and surmises that she could potentially have any number of metabolic diseases. I disagree- he wasn't here to see how very little she's eaten in the past few weeks, so to me this is a logical progression. Has anyone had experience with kids losing weight after being sick for a while, and if so, how did you put the weight back on?

This may be quite a stupid question, but here goes: My 16 month old would like nothing more than to splash about in the puddles that are in great abundance this time of year in England, but can't just yet because I've yet to get her proper fitting wellingtons (or galoshes). The problem is, I'm from California, and never having had them myself, I think I must be missing some vital piece of information- do wellingtons go over your shoes, or do you wear them with socks (in place of your shoes). I've gotten wellies in her size, but they fall off when they're worn with socks, but are too small to accommodate being worn over shoes. Any suggestions?

My husband and I are trying to decide on which church to go to. We've recently moved to the same town as my in-laws, who perpetually try to get us to go to church with them (and berate us as bad parents when we don't, but I digress). I was raised presbyterian, and my husband methodist, and the church that his folks go to is methodist. While it's a nice little church, it has very few activities for our young and growing family. There is another church locally which is much more family-oriented, but it is a C of E church, and my father-in-law is very much against us going there (I don't know why). As an American, I really don't know much about the Church of England, but am curious about it. What are the similarities/differences to the methodist/presbyterian belief system? Any information would be greatly appreciated.

My husband and I just moved into our first house with a garden, and I've really wanted to get planting to make the front yard look nice. I'm VERY new to gardening, and would just like a bit of help with the basics. I've planted bulbs (daffodils, tulips and crocuses), but have a few questions. 1- Must you dig up bulbs after they've bloomed and died? 2- Given that the blooms only last a few weeks, can I plant any old thing amongst them once they've gone? Any advice would be much appreciated, as I don't think you can get more novice than me. Oh, by the way, we're in northern England, to give you an idea of the climate.

My question is two pronged- we have two cats who have recently been allowed outside after being indoor cats for 3 years (and they're loving it). The problem is, they've taken to hunting down and eating the wildlife (as cats are wont to do, I don't have a problem with that). My question is, how often do we worm them, now that they're actually eating outside? They're up to date with their immunizations, and I last gave them a drontal tab on 30/08/09 (last flea treatment was on the 1st of this month). Secondly, we have a toddler who (inevitably) eats things off the floor. We've already blocked off her access to their food and litter, is there anything else we can do to protect her (as far as the cats are concerned)? Thanks!

I've transitioned my 14 month old off formula and onto whole milk, and have found that she LOVES it. The problem is that she's starting to refuse her juice/water in favor of milk now. Is this ok? I make sure she drinks enough during the day (whether it be juice/water or milk), and she's of normal weight and height, but I was wondering if anyone else experienced this. Thankfully, it's not interfering with her appetite (I give her a drink after she's eaten, otherwise she'll just drink), but I'm wondering if this is giving her too many calories.