Marshmellow

I hadn't slept well for probably a year or more. A lot of reasons- stress, a very noisy environment, etc.

I have recently started listening to an 8 hour recording of meditation-sleep music at night while I sleep using ear buds from about midnight to 8am.

I now sleep like a rock, practically comatose. I sleep so deeply I don't even move all night long. I don't even hear anything, which is incredible considering how noisy my place is.

When I wake up, I feel very good, but sometimes during I'm almost too relaxed-- somewhat spacey, in la-la land. But I'm extremely relaxed and chill.

Is it harmful to listen to this music all night? Or am I just getting used to sleeping properly?

A former co-worker is having her formal wedding + reception in her home town, which is 3000 miles from where she (and I) live now.

Two weeks after the wedding/reception, she's hosting a lunch for all the friends and others in this state who didn't attend the wedding.

I'm supposed to bring a gift, right?

I logged on to answer my first question of the day and got this:

Sorry, you've reached your daily answering limit. Unfortunately you can only answer questions per day.

(they didn't even complete the sentence LOL0 how many? Doesn't say)

Situation:

I own a business.

I hire a company to perform construction-type work.

The workers doing the job don't wear the necessary safety gear or protection.

One of the workers is injured while working at my place of business.

(The injury could have been prevented if the worker had been wearing the safety gear.)

Because this happened at my business, would I be liable?

Because I challenged the HOA for violating city municipal code(s) and they were required to change their practices, I have become a target.

I am getting "violations" and "fines" and "letters" from the HOA accusing me of things I don't do, saying "a resident complained" or "you were seen doing..."

The things they are accusing me of are completely untrue and they are even accusing me of "harassing" people I've never even spoken to, such as the pool cleaner or the maintenance worker.

The letters begin by saying "The Board of Directors were informed.." but it never says who told who and it's not even true.

What can I do?

If you're a homeowner in a HOA community and discover the HOA is allowing a dangerous or toxic activity, do you have the right to demand they stop, even if no one else complains?

For example, you learn the gardening crew is using a toxic pesticide within 2 feet of your home. Can you demand they stop, or is it "tough luck" since the outside is considered common ground?

The pesticide might be "legal", but it's not meant to be used in a residential environment, or perhaps not meant to be used on a weekly basis.

Do you have any legal rights?

I recently received a telemarketing call offering a service I actually need (a free estimate on home repair-remodel).

Since it was convenient that they called and saved me the bother of trying to find someone, I scheduled an appointment for one week later and made appropriate arrangements to be home.

Two hours before the scheduled appointment, they called to cancel and asked to reschedule.

I said I'd get back to them but am not too eager to bother.

I was VERY clear about needing a LOT of home repair and remodel, so this would have turned into a very large job.

I've never heard of their company before and after investigating, I see they have a handful of complaints about their telemarketing (not the actual home repair service).

Would you reschedule with them or take this last minute cancellation as a red flag and just find someone else ?

I recently received a telemarketing call offering a service I actually need (a free estimate on home repair-remodel).

Since it was convenient that they called and saved me the bother of trying to find someone, I scheduled an appointment for one week later and made appropriate arrangements to be home.

Two hours before the scheduled appointment, they called to cancel and asked to reschedule.

I said I'd get back to them but am not too eager to bother.

I was VERY clear about needing a LOT of home repair and remodel, so this would have turned into a very large job.

I've never heard of their company before and after investigating, I see they have a handful of complaints about their telemarketing (not the actual home repair service).

Would you reschedule with them or take this last minute cancellation as a red flag and just find someone else ?

I live in a large townhome complex that has always been extremely noisy, with 90% of the noise coming from the incessant gardening equipment. Leaf blowers at 7:30am, lawn mowers, hedge trimmers, weed whackers-- all day long, 6 days a week, 9 hours a day.

Well, I've noticed these last few days things have been so peaceful and so pleasant. I don't have a 90 decibel leaf blower outside my bedroom window every morning-- sweet relief!!

The level of quiet is AMAZING without them around.

But now I'm wondering-- what's going on???

Do you think the gardeners are on "vacation" since the World Cup is being played?

All of the gardeners on the crew are Hispanic.

My man lost 30 pounds- yay. He looks great.

But he's wearing the same old baggy clothes. He looks terrible.

He poked a new hole in his old belt to hold up his old pants.

His reasoning? "What if I gain it all back? I'll wait a few months and see if I can maintain it"

I've said, with positive enthusiasm, "wow, now it's time for new clothes"

and "Your old clothes are falling off you- time to go shopping"

and "It's hard to see how much weight you've lost when your clothes are so big now"

and "There's a sale at Sears!!!"

and "It would be good to just get a couple of new things, no need to replace your entire wardrobe right this second"

But he refuses to consider the idea.

Frankly, dressing in old clothes(which are now rather dated looking too) actually makes him look worse than he did when he was 30 pounds heavier.

Anything else I can do or say to convince him to go shopping? (he has the money)

I stood up to my mother (finally). But even then I was still polite and calm.

I called her out on her bullying behavior and reminded her that her 3rd husband was terribly abusive toward me.

She denied it completely, then got mad at me and turned the whole family against me.

I am now ostracized from the family and she's told everyone I "imagined things" and am "making things up because I have mental problems". She denies everything. She is the victim of a crazy daughter, so she refuses to speak to me.

No one in my family speaks to me now because according to her, I am crazy and lying.

Even my brother, who was also abused, denies it and has taken her side against me.

Why did that happen?

Do you think a woman over 50 should wear a miniskirts or short, mid-thigh length dresses?

What length is appropriate?

OMG! My hands look like a 90 year old's.

What can I do about wrinkled, crinkled, crepey hands?

What's the best creams or lotions or treatments?

My BF (who is over 40) got a new neighbor (Mike) recently who is unemployed but swears he has "multi-million dollar deals" in the works.

My BF has loaned this loser about $30,000, including paying his rent 3 times. All on the promise that he'll hit it big.. soon.

(I met this guy one time and I thought he was a complete liar and a fake)

I don't understand why my BF feels so responsible or sorry for the guy. He's a shyster who also took money (a few thousand) from another neighbor. Now the woman is demanding her money back and my BF stepped in and said he'd pay her back if Mike can't!!!

Mike has promised he'll be getting 'big money' by the end of he month, but he's said that before. It won't happen. June will come and not only will Mike be wanting more money, but the other neighbor will expect my BF to repay her too.

My BF's family thinks he's crazy and so do I.

When he told me he paid Mike's rent again for May, I zipped my lip and my BF thanked me for not voicing my opinion.

I can't stand to see this happen.

What can I do or say, if anything????

My mother started cheating with a man 10 years younger than her and subsequently left her husband (not my father) to be with the guy.

She didn't want the new guy to know her true age so she told him I was a "family friend" and not her daughter. She demanded other family members go along with the charade, and a couple of them refused, saying they wouldn't announce who I was, but they also wouldn't deny it.

She kept this up for at least 2 years, until lying became too complicated because they started living together and I relocated back to the same city. Eventually, she forced ME to tell him the truth, and in a weird way, twisted it to make it sound like it was my idea.

When I later told her that denying I was her daughter really hurt my feelings, she denied ever doing it, saying no, that never happened. And then she said "well, if I did do that, I don't see why it's such a big deal."

Was it a big deal or am I being "too sensitive" as she said?

My brother never calls or gets in touch with me so I stopped trying. He lives 90 miles away.

His son, my nephew, is 15 and rarely gets in touch so I stopped trying there too.

This is due to a falling out I had with my mother, who has always been 'the victim".

My brother has, I'm sure at her request, stopped talking to me.

Last I heard from my brother was after Christmas, when he informed me they all went to visit relatives-- and I wasn't invited!

Anyway, sometimes out of the blue, my nephew or my brother decide they'll want to visit me for a whole 36 hours, and they'll take the train.

For me to get to the train station to fetch and return them is 50 minutes each direction, on a 12-lane freeway (always very busy).

If they do decided to let me know they're going to visit me, am I obligated to always be available and thrilled and pleased?

The attitude is like 'Hey, we've decided to visit you-- aren't you pleased?"

What do I do in these situations?

How many calories should a middle-aged woman generally have for breakfast?

My friend has been taking dance lessons.

I know his instructor and I know the specific dance he's learning very well.

I also know the instructor has *always* been teaching the basics wrong. (I took her class one time years ago and left because I knew she was doing it wrong.)

He told me he's frustrated at class and doesn't retain much and has been down on himself, feeling like a failure.

I finally said, "that's because she's teaching the basics wrong, so no matter what you do, you'll never feel right."

It seemed like he didn't believe me (after all, people assume this instructor is so "good" even though she has no qualifications or credentials).

So after hearing him beat himself up once again for how "stupid" he is for not getting it, (his words) I sent him an article that was an interview with the person who created the dance style. This man is very well known, from a long line of dancers.

The creator of the dance was very specific and reiterated in the article 3 times how the basic was to be done -- which is NOT the way his so-called instructor was teaching it.

The creator also said to be cautious about taking lessons from "bad" instructors.

Was I wrong to send him that article, since it clearly pointed out that his instructor was wrong, and would be considered "bad" by the creator's standards?

My hair stylist is the most wonderful man ever. He's kind, sweet, loving, funny, warm-- I adore him. He is one of the nicest people I know. If he wasn't my hair stylist, I'd love to be friends with him.

Because of him (and unbeknownst to him), I chose to stop attending my church because of their anti-gay rhetoric. I just couldn't follow a religion that painted him as being so "bad" when I feel he's a better person than a lot (most!) of the people in that church.

Would if be terrible to tell him that some time? Would it be a weird thing for a gay person to hear? I