Hipster Doofus

This is the biggggggggg bopper speakin' looking for some help from my best buds aka the YA community.

Just the other day I was cruising down the highway in my 04' grey camry and heard a song I really liked.. the refrain went something like "this song goes out to marvin gaye while I'm drinking OJ, just let the song play".

Halp please.

Forever yours,

Hipster Doofus

What it do yahoo,

I’m having some difficulty figuring out what to get the old ball n’ chain for her b-day and am hoping all of the 13 year old girls on here could point me in the right direction.

Background: My girlfriend will be turning 22 and we have been going out for almost 8 months, so this will be her first birthday with me. For my birthday, she was kind enough to get me a deluxe magic kit and a t-shirt. She LOVES to dance, puppies, babies, and Twilight. She has told me that I don’t need to get her a present but I think this is just a trick trying to put me in the DOG HOUSE.

Please advise,

Hipster Doofuse

Hey Yahoo it's Hipster Doofus long time no see I hope all is well. I am going to be going out to dinner with my love bud and her family for the first time. I'm not trying to brag yahoo, but I'd like to consider myself an amateur magician and I sort of want to show them some of my tricks. Nothing too mind blowing, just a couple that will make them ohh and ahhh. Do you think it would be best to wait until dinner is over to show my tricks or should I do it as soon as we are seated!? Who knows, maybe I'll make the bill...disappear! HAHAHAHAHAH Thanks Yahoo

Kay, so whilst having a conversation with my BUDDY last night she threw out a question...and what an interesting question it was! Does every couple makes silly kissy faces / call each other stupid pet names like cupcake, bananarama, boop boop and hee hoop when alone?. So yahoo, is this normal or are we just ghey?

RIDDLE ME THIS YAHOO: My brother is looking at renting a place in the outskirts of Chelsea. He is not gay, and is worried he won't "fit in." Is this an issue, or do many straight people live in this area of NY?

What it do yahoo,

There is this girl I know who recently let it be known to a pretty big community of people that she thinks tattoos on guys are sexy. She even capitalized SEXY and put two exclamation points behind it... like this "SEXY!!" Let's get one thing straight yahoo, this girl is EXTREMELY seductive....she's like a modern day Cleopatra comin' at cha. Anyways, I don't have a tattoo and am certainly not going to get one for her, so I was thinking abut getting a temp tattoo - something mysterious and daring, not a lame flower. Do you think this will "rev her engine" OR will she just laugh in my face and continue watching buffy on her 37 inch vizio? (Serious responses only please)

Never been but I've heard they have really good food and cool bartenders. Can someone please confirm/deny?

I got a 240 once.

Will this result in a power explosion?

So I was over my friends house and her white, red headed roommate was taking a shower with her black boyfriend. I never met either of them but I was pretty creeped out to say the least. I'm unsure if there is any sexual activity going on, but it would NOT surprise me considering the ginger is a hotty wit a body and the black guy is presumably hung like a mule. Also, I am pretty sure I heard the words "big black d*ck." Is this normal or...ABNORMAL?

I was 22 years old (later bloomer) and remember the day like it was yesterday. I was watching a 90210 rerun and Donna was wearing this plaid school skirt with knee high socks. UMM CAN YOU SAY INSTANT *****? Anyways, one thing let to another then then boom, SPLOOOOGE. What are you stories?

This is an extremely tough question as I have spent an unhealthy time on the matter. It's really a tossup between Arby's and Chik Fil A. Arby's has awesome curly fries, chicken fingers, and roast beef sammiches. Cover all of that goodness in Arby's sauce and you're good to go. Chik Fil A has bangin' chicken nuggets, waffle fries (I know a girl who doesn't like them...weirdo), and amazing milkshakes. Ahh what do you choose!?

Yahoo, I am renting a house with one roommate and we have to pay $250 for our renter's insurance. I think it is a waste of money but my roommate is all about getting it. Who is right?

Alright so I met this girl who seemed pretty normal prima facie, but after discovering her yahoo answers account I think she may be pretty crazyayayayay. Here are just a few of the questions she has asked the yahoo community.

- If you have reg sx then sex from the behind ( if you catch my drift) and then back again to regular style .. will you always get an infection? How do you prevent this? Any one have any stories?

- My room mate just recently discovered she has crabs. What should I do? Move out for a while? Burn her sheets? HELP!

- Ok, so since I was little I always ate a muffin and the wrapper. I don't know what it is about it but I LOVE IT!! It's so chewy!

Does anyone else do this? Am I hurting my tummy?

So as you can see these definitely aren't question a sane person would ask. Should I just act like I never read the questions, or would you consider slowing breaking off ties with said friend?

Okay everyone, I'm in a little bit of a pickle. I am going to be eating on a boat and not sure what to eat. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Good Morning Entrees

Eggnog Brioche French Toast

Tahitian Vanilla Roasted Anjou Pears, Roasted Pecans

Almond Streusel, Apple cider Maple Syrup**

Big Stack Buttermilk Pancakes

Cinnamon Mascarpone, Pumpkin Crème Anglaise

Haagen Dazs butter Pecan Ice Cream, Warm Pennsylvania Maple Syrup**

Chocolate Belgian Waffles

Autumn Spiced Morello Cherries, Toasted Almonds

Candied Orange Zest, Amaretto Cream Chantilly**

Three Egg Omelet

Slow Roasted Short Ribs, Grilled Red Onion, Goat Cheese

Tomato, Roasted Red Peppers, Baby Arugula

Moshulu Omelet

Berkshire Heritage Bacon, Caramelized Texas 1015 Onions

Boursin Cheese, Heirloom Cherry Tomatoes, Home Fries

Huevos Rancheros

Lancaster Sunny Side Up Eggs, Fresh Corn Tortillas

Cheddar and Monterey Jack Cheese, Black Bean Salsa

Guacamole, Cilantro Crème Fraiche, Ranchero Sauce

Good Afternoon Entrees

Chicken and Spinach Lasagna

Three Cheese, Oven Dried Tomatoes, Wild Mushrooms

Cognac Porcini Cream

Pistachio Crusted Maine Diver Scallops

Wild Mushroom and Butternut Squash Risotto

Shallot Roasted Spinach, Heirloom Cider

Medallions of Filet Mignon

Horseradish Yukon Gold Potato Puree, Green Asparagus

Cabernet Thyme Jus

Blackened Jail Island Salmon

Lancaster White Cheddar Mac N’ Cheese

Winter Greens, Tomato Saffron Broth

House Made Pumpkin Tortelloni

Roasted Anjou Pear, Autumn Spiced Cranberries

Brown Butter Swiss Chard, Heirloom Cider Jus

Fish and Chips

Tempura Battered Tilapia

Old Bay Dusted Hand Cut Chips

Caper Remoulade, Napa Valley Vegetable Slaw

Aside: Mellisa T, I know you will be reading this and you are cordially invited as well!!!

is it worth watching?

It looks bangin, but how does it taste?

I was talking to my friend last night when the topic of the earthquake in Haiti came up. He said that France had accused the U.S. of occupying Haiti to which I responded FRANCE BE HAITI'N!

All politics aside, please rate my joke from 1 to 10. 1 being a pity giggle, 10 cause you to pee your little pants gigglin

I try avoiding my roommate at all costs, which is the reason for the debacle I'm about to bestow upon all of you yahoo'ers. I ordered buffalo wings last night and ate them on my bed because my roommate was downstairs watching tv and I didn't want to deal with his annoying and boyish behavior. Long story short, I have three big hot sauce stains on my sheets that won't come out. Now normally I would just ask my mom to wash them for me but there are some other stains on there that I don't want my mother seeing ;)

So what is the best way to remove said stains?