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HarryPotter Expert

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I am currently writing a fantasy novel. Hope it gets published - fingers crossed! If you need any help on anything related to books or writing, don't hesitate to ask me! I can normally be found in the Books and Authors section. Hope this helps!

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  • Does this sentence (possible opening?) draw you in?

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    _________________________________________________________________________

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    7 AnswersBooks & Authors10 years ago
  • Excerpt from my novel? Does it make you want to read on?

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    Buzz. This was how it had been since the beginning. The beginning – when his daughter had disappeared, when the men had arrived and sent him on a one way trip to hell and when life as he knew it was snatched away from his hands.

    Often, the man would weep. There would be times when great remorse flooded through him and he would remember what he had done. What he had done. Pictures and images would fill his mind and he would grab his throat but he would be too weak to end it all and the images would still come – a man struggling in a large expanse of water, followed swiftly by three mountain peaks between two ridges. But the clearest image would be of a woman in his arms, blood erupting from her chest like a blooming rose, forming a bloody puddle on the floor.

    Then the pain would come. There would be a dry stab in the back of his throat, and then tears would begin to form on his wide eyes. He would cry and cry but the sorrow would not subside. He would remember the happy days when he had walked with Joanne (for that was his daughter’s name) and they had sang merry tunes together, just like any normal father and daughter duo would do.

    But now they weren’t just a normal father and daughter duo. In fact, they weren’t even a duo anymore. For they had been separated the day when all things had died and withered, when darkness and light had dispersed from his life and all that was left was the pitch-black emptiness of wherever he was right now.

    “Cell. You’re in the Prison. The Darkpass Fortress.”

    The voice did not come as a surprise to the prisoner. It had regularly come to torture him during the days (or was it months, or even years?) he had been at the Prison, as the voice called it.

    3 AnswersBooks & Authors10 years ago
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  • Is 'prologue' not just a word? Also, could you please read my excerpt and criticize?

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    BQ: Below is an excerpt. Please could you rate?

    Buzz. This was how it had been since the beginning. The beginning – when his daughter had disappeared, when the men had arrived and sent him on a one way trip to hell and when life as he knew it was snatched away from his hands.

    Often, the man would weep. There would be times when great remorse flooded through him and he would remember what he had done. What he had done. Pictures and images would fill his mind and he would grab his throat but he would be too weak to end it all and the images would still come – a man struggling in a large expanse of water, followed swiftly by three mountain peaks between two ridges. But the clearest image would be of a woman in his arms, blood flowing from a gaping wound in her chest and forming a bloody stain on the floor.

    Then the pain would come. First a great stab in the back of his dry throat and then tears would come to his wide eyes.

    2 AnswersBooks & Authors10 years ago
  • Is this chilling enough?

    Does it make you want to read on? This is an extract from a second project I am working on.

    Buzz. On and on it went, infrequently pausing and then starting again. Just a low buzz in the background. To be honest, that wasn’t much better. In fact, there was no background. Just plain darkness. Darkness and buzzing. To the man, it was hell.

    The pain had come a few days after the noise first arrived. Sometimes, he could not bear it. Sometimes, it was just a light tickling sensation somewhere on his body. The boy did not know where; it could have been his toes or his stomach – co-ordination did not exist in this nightmare. Neither did time.

    When last had he seen the light of day or felt the cool breeze of the wind on his cheeks? It had been the summer’s day that his daughter had disappeared. What had been her name? Mary? Nicola? Joanne. That was it. Often, he would remind himself of this single piece of information, the only one he could remember. He knew she had been taken and then he had arrived here, forced to stay in the company of the darkness and the buzz.

    Frequently, he would hear a voice from faraway and then a distant scream, forever echoing in his, already demented, mind.

    4 AnswersBooks & Authors10 years ago