How to deal with people who don't accept my disabilities?
How do you deal with people who don't believe that you really have a disability or keep forgetting it (maybe because it's an invisible one)? Have the people around you had a hard time adjusting to the change if you got your disability later in life? How can they be helped to understand, accept or get used to your disability?
I still get yelled at or ignored for "not listening" (I lost a part of my hearing a couple of years ago), usually by the same people who just don't accept that I can't hear well anymore. Some people think it's completely unnecessary to let me sit down when my feet are in strong pain (due to one of my disabilities) and when I say I can't walk far I'm accused of just being lazy or in need of exercise, etc.
I have a few disabilities and all of them are invisible. I would appreciate any tips that might help change people's attitude. I'm talking about people who I must deal with a lot in my life, not just random strangers.
Feivel2008-06-09T10:21:51Z
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I know what you mean. My little brother is autistic and he looks totally normal, even cuter than most kids in my opinion (but I am biased LOL) but if he throws a fit in a store people will say "That child needs a good spanking" or to my parents "Can't you control your child?!". Once in a while someone will tell us we need to control him and once in a while someone will say to him "If you were my son I would blister your little butt". My parents (or just me if I am with him alone) will look at the person and say "Just because you cannot see a disability does not mean he does not have one. He has autism and he is doing the best he can. Perhaps reading up on it or taking some tolerance classes might benefit you. My brother might be autistic but he is not judgmental. Obviously the same cannot be said for you". If I say it people walk away but my father is rather stern looking if you don't know him (he is really a teddy bear though) and can put people in their place quite quickly". My sister says something similiar but sometimes add "Or did you just think that because we are Jewish we don't raise out children to behave? Well you were wrong!" Most of the time if he does something a person won't say anything but might give us a look and all we say is "I am sorry. He has autism" and then we offer to pay for whatever he broke or whatever he ate or whatever he destroyed in some other way". I would say you have to just be patient with them and take a "let me explain this to you once more time" stance. Also if you are going to be walking or listening to something remind them before hand that you need to sit closer to hear or you might need to take more frequent breaks because of your need to rest your feet. Ask them if that is ok with them and if they say yes, then they really can't complain. When my brother came along it was hard for people to want to come over because he was, at the time, a terror. He was 3 and voilent because he had no communication. Before that we just thought he was in his terrible twos and was in a really severe case of the terrible twos. When we found out it was severe autism we all pulled together to work with him. Some people stopped visiting but most of our friends we enlisted to help us and they have been a part of his life and that made it easier. We took him out in the community. We made sure that people knew him. Once when he "escaped" our new neighbors brought him home by leading him back hom with a Barney toy that beloned to their little daughter. We had not met them yet but they were told about him and were happy to help. They are great friends now. My little brother is every part of our community as I am, just in a different way. Enlist the people to be your friends. Remind them of your disabliity when it is appropriate but don't use your disability as an excuse (I am sure you don't do that but I do know a person who does). Show them you want to do things despite your challanges but you might need their help. That should make a big difference.
You know as I read on here that people had mild hearing loss, it reminded me that sometimes people will shout at my brother something like "NICE TO MEET YOU". He is autistic. Not deaf. Neither disability can be seen but you know, one needs one thing and one needs another.
I have Aspergers Syndrome, and I deal with this every day. I'm absolutely atrocious with social skills, I can't focus well, and I have a lot of anxiety attacks. I often deal with it by scolding myself, but that's not a positive way to deal with things. If I were you, maybe I would just yell back about the hearing thing. Sit down even if others think it's unnecessary. Don't be self-absorbed, but if you know you NEED something, don't be afraid to take that liberty.
I also have a few 'hidden' disabilities - I know what you mean. Some people are distrusting because they don't trust themselves. You are not ever going to get them to understand - all you can do is have pity on them BECAUSE they will never understand.
I have autism and am tired of people looking at me like I am a bad person if I have a meltdown or something. I don't speak well and so I sign but I am not deaf. People accept me if they think I am deaf but once they realize I can hear they don't get me. I just think screw em'. If they can't understand me then they are not worth me worry about whether they understand or not. Sometimes the person I am with might say something. I have a couple of t shirts that say thing like "I have autism. You're just weird" and other stuff. I guess I just don't care enough about other people to care what they think.
Okay. Usually, what I'll say is "Screw you.", but you sound like someone who wouldn't say that at all.
So, whenever you encounter one of these people again make it clear that you do have a disability and how you feel when people yell at you. I really hope that helps