Who was the first person to break your heart?
My mother broke mine. She's not a terrible person. I don't even know if she knew that she was doing it. I've never said anything because it's been years since we've had problems. I don't want to love my mother. I'm probably a terrible person for saying that but she doesn't make it easy. We've never had an easy relationship and I can only guess why. For most of my life, I was made to feel like I was never good enough. It hurts me to even think about it. I learned at a very young age that no matter how much it hurts you won't die from a broken heart even if you sometimes wished you did. I haven't forgotten what it feels like. You never do. You can't breathe and your chest feels like its being crushed by some unseen force and all you want is for it to go away. It's a hidden scar, never seen but always there. I was never pretty enough, never smart enough, never skinny enough to please my mother and as a child I knew my mother didn't like me. It's better now, but I had to work hard and go through a lot of tears to get to this place. A child should never know what pain feels like and there are so many different kinds. I just want to know if there is anyone out there who went through a hard time and couldn't talk about it.