Ok so I was just reading an article and was wanting to know, what would be some of the right reasons to marry someone? or what were the reasons you chose to marry your spouse?
Im single and in a relationship with an awesome guy so Im trying to see if he has any potential
2010-02-07T20:26:26Z
wow thanks everyone. This has given me a lot of things to think about. We do have great communication, he's like my best friend we talk about everything. We have the same values, morals, goals for the most part. The only thing im lacking from him is im not as attracted to him. He's on the big side( think of a football player who used to have muscles and everything but kinda stopped working out so muscles have been replaced with fat). Should I be concerned?
2010-02-07T20:28:41Z
Thanks for answering all those who are already married I mainly wanted to hear from you guys to get your take on the topic. And goodluck to you guys I hope you guys stay married for forever
t&t2010-02-07T20:23:37Z
Favorite Answer
Do you believe that you could be happy with him for the next 50 years? Do you have similar interests? Does he handle money well? Will he be a good provider? Is he patient? Does he have anger problems? How is he around children? What is his father like? Mother? Siblings? Any history of mental illness in his family?
A successful marriage will require both of you to change. Are you willing? Is he? Do you both have the same feelings/goals regarding children? Do you both have the same feelings/goals about religion? Politics? Do you love each other? Do you understand what makes him feel loved? Does he understand that about you? (read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman).
It is not by accident that I put love last on the list. You can fall in love with anyone, but that usually lasts no more than 2.5 years. After that, it will take effort to keep the flame alive.
The more you have in common, the better your chances of a successful marriage will be.
EDIT. Most people put on weight as they age, and that can have an impact on attractiveness, but if your relationship is already solid it will survive. However, if you are starting out not being attracted to the guy, it might weaken your marriage. That isn't always true, it depends on the people involved. Looks aren't everything.
(feminine) When we acquired married it marked the end result of a segment of checking out how severe we have been approximately each and every different. We have been in combination two years and travelled in combination for eight months, met each and every different's households, lived in combination and individually, been in unique international locations to conclude our reviews-- so we had rather proven the circumstances that might push us aside and felt we have been able for a extra authentic dedication. It wasn't trendy on the time, specially seeing that if we have been going to be in combination certainly one of us used to be going to must sacrifice a few at the profession entrance (which became out to be me, which makes us lovely traditional rather) and neither people desired to be held liable for messing up the opposite's plans. We additionally had dramatically unique households and the proposal of a conventional marriage ceremony used to be too disturbing and luxurious to think about, so we had a exceptional neighborhood rite, partied with peers and notified the households later. 25 years later every person has forgiven us and now we have had an excessively well time along with our kids. Recently anyone requested us if we proposal we might nonetheless be in combination if we hadn't had kids and we each mentioned sure. It's been correct for us. Of direction we are lovely easygoing so probabilities are if we had taken one other direction we might nonetheless be pronouncing it used to be correct. All the pleasant, and do not marry until you each wish to. First rule. All else follows.
Good communication, able to resolve conflicts together, trust, openness, honesty, acceptance, respect, common values and morals, physical attraction, compatible lifestyles, supportive of each other's goals, agreement on handling finances and raising a family. Most importantly, making your relationship more important than either of your individual wants -- willing to do whatever it takes to make it work because you care more about the other person's happiness than your own.
Picture yourself an old lady. In this picture is he still climbing into bed with you? In other words, do you want to love him forever? Are the two of you good friends? Are the two of you a lot alike and yet different? If you can answer yes to these questions he has potential.
You have a good communication style. You are able to work through issues. You both make a lot of effort for each other. You respect each other. You are physically attracted to each other (a lot). You trust each other. You have similar values. You agree on family and goals about your future. You can balance your differences and can accept them.