Is it bad that I give my ex-husband custody of my 2 year-old daughter?
I never thought I'd actually do this but it has come to this. My husband and I dont get along at all and its mainly cuz Im very american (hispanic) and he's old fashioned hispanic. There's more to the story but thats ot the issue. My daughter is 2 and is extra close to her dad. She's such a daddy's girl and perfers to be around dad then me. My husband wont leave at all if he's not leaving with his daugher. my thing is that children suffer watching their parents fight and scream and throw stuff at each other. I want to be at peace, i want my kids to be at peace and this would be the only way to seperate. I also have a 7 year old son who is close to me and perfers me over dad.
What to do??
Anonymous2010-03-21T14:15:35Z
Favorite Answer
Get a judge to grant 50 50 custody. I don't see why you would hand over custody when you could share it.
You say it is the only way to separate.....its not! You say he wont leave unless he has her......that is manipulation and there are ways to make him go. If you give him custody you will regret it. Go for 50-50 you can't get any fairer than that.if he doesn't like it....stiff sh*t!
Think carefully before you give in to a complete separation. Most people who are considering divorce or separation think that the relationship can never get better. Too late, and with more experience under their belt, they realize that some issues could have been resolved with counseling, effort, and patience. You are right that children do suffer when their parents argue and fight. Sometimes with divorce, however, the fighting continues, and children continue to suffer, too. Divorce doesn't solve the problems. It just relieves them temporarily. Children need both parents. If it is at all possible, try to work out the issues separating you and your spouse. Your children will suffer much less that way. If you can't work things out, then do everything in your power to have an amicable separation and/or divorce in which the children can see the two of you treating each other fairly and with respect. If your daughter goes to live with your husband, you should still insist on joint custody which would be in her best interest.
Most mothers do what is best for the child in the long run You need to ask yourself if the situation he will be in, housing, employment, social activities etc are going to be stable for a child. You also need to realize that you cannot play yo-yo with the child either. If you let him take custody, don't go crying later that you want her. That is not fair. What about shared custody? Visitation? I have to wonder about your intentions. Is this more for your own benefit? So you do not have to raise her? selfish reasons?
take this to court and get a legal agreement so that you and your husband share custody of your children.
its no fun growing up without a parent. imagine your daughter in fifteen years from now, asking about her father. what will you tell her? how do you know she wouldnt look him up?
make sure your husband has his fair share in his daughter's life. dont give him full custody, but it's not fair if you have full custody either. and especially since your kids apparently love their father so much, chances are they'll be a lot happier.
take your children's feelings now and in the future into consideration.
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