My sister committed suicide this morning in her room. I feel horrible. She told me she was considering killing herself and that I shouldn't tell anyone, but I did. She didn't talk to me at all after that. I never got to say goodbye. I feel like part of me died with her. I know that it isn't my fault, but I can't help but blame myself for what happened. My parents won't talk to anyone, so I can't talk to them. I feel like I won't be able to move on without my big sister. I feel even worse because I haven't cried yet. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'll make it through Christmas this year. Please help! I just don't know what to do.
Gabby2010-12-24T11:03:05Z
Favorite Answer
First of all, i'm very very sorry for your loss. My brother died this year in the army, and my uncle Ken also commited suicide, I can imagine what your going through to a certain extent. All you can do is carry on, there is nothing you can do or say to make them come back, and please don't blame yourself, I would of done the same if I were you, she's your sister and you love her, if I thought my sisters were putting them self in danger I would tell someone straight away, this isn't your fault at all. Is there anyone you can ring or go to someones house? Maybe even go for a walk, I always walk my dogs to clear my head. Some people think that there is no point in living because something bad has happened, but there is more to life. I have a lot of problems at home and am going in the army to get away from things, don't let this be something to push you away from home, like it did to me, when my brother died I felt exactly the same as you, he died in March and I miss him everyday, I just take comfort in that he died doing something he loved and he died a hero, just remember that your sister was angry, but only because she felt betrayed, its like an argument with her like i'm sure you've had she will forgive you and I hope you can forgive her too, theres no point in saying cheer up and get on with life, because I know its so hard if you want to talk to someone you can add my msn, i'm going to a party in an hour so if you want to chat just add me, i'm more than welcome to listen to you and tell you my story. Lots of love and take care. Gabby
First off--- my condolences are with you. I know this must be harder than anything right now.
You are NOT to blame for your sister's death. How I see it is that you tried to help her. When she told you not to tell anyone of her suicide plans, you did the right thing in telling someone. She might not have been talking to you after that because she might not have wanted an intervention or to be dissuaded from it.v
Give your parents some time. They might just be too upset over the situation that just happened to talk to anyone. You probably havent cried yet because your still in that initial shock stage, but tears will come when the inital shock fades. Let them out. Sometimes a good sob session helps.
What you can do is pray. Prayer really truly does help. Pray for strength in dealing with your sister's death. Pray for healing and that your sister is happier where she is now. Pray for acceptance for the situation, and to be able to come to terms with it all.
The only other thing you can really do is take it one day at a time. Talk about it with your best friend, or someone you trust. Cry on their shoulder if you need to. Don't keep all the pain in. Let the pain out. It will get better eventually.
Hi, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I experienced a loved one attempting suicide twice, it is a horrible thing to experience, especially when they succeed. Right now you are in shock, and that's probably why you are not crying. Your parents are in shock too, I'm sure. Please reach out for help to talk with someone, this is very important. There are many low cost and some free counseling services in most communities. This is a very important step for you. Eventually Family Therapy would be a good idea. This not only affects individuals but the Family Unit as well. Please reach out for help. You are right, it is in NO WAY your fault. People who do this don't understand that suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. I wish you and your family well.
I am so sorry for your grief, and please do not blame yourself Some people seem to be predisposed to taking their own life, one can on occasion delay it and maybe even get them into counseling, but this is frequently temporary.
You are no doubt in shock at this time, and I am sure you have some rough times ahead of you, but as soon as you can contact someone in grief counseling and get all the help you can. Is there an older relative, or someone from your church, neighborhood with whom you can spend some time and talk to them?
Your parents are surely in a state of shock, but soon they will be in a condition to talk to you and let you talk about your feelings.
Just give your parents time. I know this must be so hard for you and I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry. But please don't blame yourself for this. It was the right thing to do to tell someone. It would have been much worse if you didn't. It's too late to think back about how you could've stopped her because that will only make yourself feel worse. You'll get through it, I promise. It just takes time. But I'm really sorry.