or why might someone spiral into a tizzy because others don't validate their misconceptions?
What advice would you give to a person who thinks that it's 'mean' to try and correct them on their misconceptions about your religion/practices?
Kristin
Well, I'm seeing a pattern and I think I'm learning a bit about why some folks "hear" hostility where there is none. First, there is a misconception that stuff that is corollary to Wicca is "Wicca," and so when experienced Wiccans try to help new seekers by saying, for instance, "Tarot card reading doesn't make you Wiccan," or "that's not Wicca," what they "hear" is "that's not valid, you can't do that, I'm cooler than you are, you're dumb." And then they literally respond to THAT MISTAKEN PERCEPTION as though it was actually said to them.
I have seen this repeatedly and I find it fascinating, because when I was a new seeker, I soaked up everything more experienced people said to me and while I might not have agreed with all of them, I don't recall ever being corrected and yelling "You're ATTACKING ME!" So I'm literally baffled by this. For instance, I recently tried to explain the concept of "willful ignorance" and why it is disrespected in Wicca. Willful ignorance in Wiccan context means, as you know, that when a person is told by a more experienced practitioner that they've gotten hold of bad information and WHY it's bad information, they cling to the misinformation and then paint themselves as a victim of the person who is trying to help teach them. What I got for that effort was a few folks telling others that I "call people ignorant" and that I'm "mean."
There is a trend that I've noticed which is hard to explain, and I know that you've seen it too. It's the trend of wanting to call whatever one is doing "Wicca" whether it has anything to do with Wicca or not. So people will literally think they're Wiccan because they are into herbalism and spell craft, but don't practice the religion of Wicca, or don't have a practice that resembles Wicca enough to warrant the moniker. And why this happens, I don't know. It's not as though Wicca is the only good or respectable thing one can do. "That's not Wicca" doesn't equal "that's not valid" or "you shouldn't do that." Some of the best witches in the world are not Wiccans and you can be any kind of Pagan you want to be. Wicca is not this exalted thing. It's just one form of Paganism. That's ALL. But it DOES have solid parameters, and if a practice doesn't have those parameters, it's not a Wiccan practice. That's not an insult, for cripes' sake. It's a statement.
I really wish that folks would get that those of us who teach Wicca really want them to learn, and by giving definitions, we are empowering people to have intelligent, concise conversations about a topic dear to us. And I really wish folks wouldn't cry persecution because we point out that a duck is not a pickup truck and the sky is blue, not chartreuse. "You have incorrect information" is not "You're stupid."
Thanks for offering this question. I appreciate it.
Sue
Ah thats a difficult question without seeing the context - in my limited experience I've found that the younger more immature seekers tend to react badly when told they have misunderstood something, it's also equally true that some experienced people can get a bit heavy handed. To answer more fully I'd have to see the conversation.
Some seekers tend to be defensive because they are anticipating trouble - we do see a lot of claims of many and varied perceptions or scenarios - notably overly 'sensitive' 'empathic' or 'cursed/hexed' - look at any forum or question board and you'll see a high number or these. Experienced practitioners tend to be able spot those ah - shall we say 'spinning a tale', and those who are believing a lot special effects in films. Uh there's a multitude of things. I'd look at the context before jumping to conclusions...
I would not bother to give advice if I found the newbie to start hurling accusations of meanness when an offer of help or advice was honestly and freely given. We know the importance of self responsibility within all forms of Wicca - if they cannot offer any more respect than an attack because they did not hear what they want to hear - then I would write them off as not worth helping. Being disrespectful to someone online who has taken the time to answer is IMO the height of bad manners, shows a lack of discipline (required in the Craft) lack of humility and lack of common sense in quite a lot of what I've seen over the years, it's not my job to teach them, I'm trying to help them, If they react badly then I sigh and move on to other questions or topics. My time is precious, if I answer anything at all I answer carefully and it's up to the questioner to take on board that advice or not. Some do,some don't. If not it says rather more about them, either they are not ready, or my answer is not what they were wanting to hear (that's pretty common) or my version of the craft is not theirs. It could of course mean that my reply was complete hokum to them lol - again we're back to context.
Those willling to seek and listen are far far fewer than those wanting to be seen as something they are not. If forced to give advice I would say 'listen and learn before you dismiss any advice'
Anonymous
I think it's a bit of the nature of the beliefs and the age of the people who you deem overly sensitive. What I've noticed scrolling through boards is that "newbies" tend to be very young and trying to create something that works for them. They are looking to make something, rather than be told what they need to believe and how they need to worship. They get upset with the high and mighty tone of the corrections. Deny it if you want. There is a tone of superiority that comes off in many boards from the "experienced". I've read through some where humility seems all too lacking. "Newbies" are trying to get away from that leadership tone. They often had enough of that in the churches they grew up in. So they're muddling around finding what religious and spiritual beliefs work for them. That muddling around and finding oneself, including religion is typical of teens and young adults. Give them a few years and they'll be on to something new, or they'll be asking why newbies are treating them this way. .
I know you only asked those who would mostly likely agree with you to confirm your thoughts, but since this *is* a public forum, it might give you some thing to think about from someone who is curious but relatively unbiased. My only bias is based on impression.
Ma'iingan
Oh, but we do have an experienced Wiccan here, Geturducksinarow is experienced...you know, because s/he claims it's all about earth worship and whatnot.
But seriously, like I said to the other asker of a similar question (no names because I don't want to call out the "meanies" now), just give your answer, and move on. If these novices want to remain ignorant then that's their problem...they'll find whatever it is they're doing empty and fall out of interest within 2 weeks.
Shirtsrusinternational
doubt youd find any experienced wiccans here . The only ones you'd find here are fake . No self respecting real witch would spend her time on yahoo answers. Thiis is only for ppl like us who have nothing better to do.Oh and the one I commented on a few hours ago must have been fake cuz shes WAY mean.