How to tell a child her daddy is not her biological father?
So I got pregnant in a one night stand and the guy never acknowledged 'his ' daughter which by now I'm completely ok with because when she was 10 months old I met a wonderful man whom I'm married to now and who is the best father she could wish for.bit I live in a small town in Ireland where everybody knows everything and if u have never been in an area like this u wouldn't believe how tactless ppl can be without even meaning to hurt someone.i got a few ppl saying stuff like :oh bit he is bot her daddy,right? To me in conversations while she is right there so we wonder how we should explain the whole thing to her I stead of her realizing it by herself and feeling betrayed?she is 2 and 9 months now
Patricia2016-02-06T15:01:49Z
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The people in your town sound like certified rednecks. Who asks about a child's father as if its any of their business? Oh, yes, a moron who has the sense god gave a duck.
There is likely a lot of information online for help. And a child psychologist can also give you valuable help with this sort of thing. But at 3 years old? She knows nothing about reproduction, is innocent and wouldn't know what you were talking about.
Psychologists are trained to relate to children on their level and talk with them in a way they understand... so getting advice from one is a good place to start. You will get a good idea about when and how to talk with your daughter as the result
Wait until she's older before you tell her - 10 or more. Considering that your husband has been the only father figure in her life, I don't think she'll have much of a problem with it. Any man can be a biological father, but a real father is the man who steps up and raises the child.
One day, she will probably notice those comments herself and will probably ask one of you. I wouldn t treat it as anything big- to me, a parent is the one that raised you and your family as best they can. Tell that to her, though she ll need to know her genetics one day too. I would slam those people who ask for her "real daddy". But since you live in a small town and probably want to keep at least neutral relationships with everyone, just tell them it s none of their business. Or tell them who you feel is the true father.
When you will be explaining where babies come from, that is the appropriate time to say that her stepfather is not her biological dad. She has 2 dads, one who could not stay and help her grow up and one who is taking good care of her.