Is this relationship worth having???? HELP ME PLZ******?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. He was in love with me in the beginning and I wasn t too interested. I felt more a friend vibe from him. But one day he kissed me and I instantly fell for him. Just a few months after being together I saw his fear of commitment. We have a great friendship but his attitude ruins a lot. He treats me like he is missing out on something and always tries to fix me. Like no matter what I do I m not good enough for him. It frustrates me. The frustrating part is that all the stuff he tries to "fix" about me is stuff that doesnt need fixing. We have the best friendship but he changes when I am his girlfriend. And am I wrong for wanting a guy that lifts me up and motivates me?

We are in the process of looking for a place together and he is not eager AT ALL. I imagined this moment to be exciting, nervous, but still exciting and he is dreading it. Also, I have always been the type of person to like adventures. I travel, I try new things all the time, I love to have fun and meet new people. He  was this way at first and now all he does is want to play a video game 24/7. We hung out last night, but we can t hang out with out him making me feel uncomfortable with his racist comments. And when he makes the comments he looks at me like I m wrong for night consigning with him.

I just want to know how do u know if u should end a relationship? Do u take ur heart out of the equation?

SW-6 · Accepted Answer

IMO as an old soul who is familiar with your predicament - look at it this way:
You see how complicated, confusing, depressing, obsessive, desperate, etc. your plea above is?  Think of if your entire life is like this.  The slow, long, miserable existence you will have as long as you decide to put up with this person.  How can you save yourself the heartache and shoot for a happy and rewarding time on this earth?  
The "ground zero" in any stress induced situation is the entity that is the real problem, the “if not for” thing, what you want to eliminate.  So saying, who or what is the ground zero here?  Who or what needs to be removed?  See where I’m going here?  
Listen friend – LIFE IS SUPER SHORT, and I am telling you not to waste a SECOND of it on garbage.  IF you were gone tomorrow look at what your life has yielded – CRAP.  While you are miserable, depressed, worried and crying – he is out having the time of his life.  Something ain’t right.  YOU DESERVE A GOOD HAPPY LIFE TOO!  
Do not ignore the character he is presenting, don’t try to explain it away, etc.  He is who he is just like you are who you are.  Will he change for the better?  Maybe.  Why do you have to stay and raise a grown man and wait for him to be the man of your dreams?  IS he the only man out there? NO!  So you go out and find the man of your dreams who will do right by you from the start and deserves all the good things you will bring.  You deserve all the good things he will bring to you also – DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!!

Good luck to you :)

Hannah · Answer

You should be in a relationship where your man makes you feel happy, safe, motivated and if this si, not the case then you need to talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel, work it out together.

Paulh · Answer

If the list of negatives about the other person is longer than the positives then its time to get out. You havent said one nice thing about this guy except hes a "friend" more than a boyfriend.

Relationships where one is always trying to change another person are doomed to failure. As you say, if it ain't broke, dont fix it.

myfavouritelucy · Answer

This isn;'t a relationship, its a comfortable habit that you are scared of getting out of because you can't see what the alternative will be.  He sounds immature, controlling, and just a kid, basically.  Move on, get out of it.

Is this relationship worth having???? HELP ME PLZ******?

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