Please help, I am emotionally destroyed?
1) My stepdad molested me when I was 11.
2) My mom chose to stay with him so I went to live with my dad.
3) My dad and step mother were emotionally abusive, constantly telling me how I would end up like my mother / I had a weird personality / I was abnormal, needed to be more like my siblings.
4) I entered into an abusive relationship (when they say you typically fall into the pattern of your parents, they‘re right)
4) I attempted suicide as an adult only to hear my dad tell me he was ashamed of me. My only support was my brother.
5) I went to the mental hospital & got better, I l left my abusive relationship. However I became lonely (no family)
4) I forgave my mother, she entered my life again, and I even forgave my step dad who also entered my life again (stupid decision)
5) After a year, my step dad told my mother that me and him were ‘sexually interested in eachother’ and that it was my fault. This was a disgusting delusion, literally turned my stomach when my mom told me.
6) She chose him over me again. And my entire family always sides with her choices. Except my brother.
Now here I am, in so much pain. I keep getting broken. How can I not be the problem if everyone is betraying me constantly? What is wrong? Please someone tell me I am the problem or that I can fix my life. This all feels out of my control.
Thanks for listening to my life. I appreciate your all’s feedback!