Can I/ should I adopt her?

Question

I am a 25 year old single guy with a 15 year old niece Jill, my sister’s daughter. Jill often comes to my house for help with her homework. If we finish her homework late she spends the night a my house and I take her to school the next morning. She told me she was a nervous wreck from her mom and dad fighting all the time and they were getting a divorce. She wanted to stay with me until the divorce was final.

I told her that was OK with me but she needed her parents OK which I thought would NEVER happen. However her parents must have thought it was best for her not to see them fighting all the time and agreed she could stay with me until there divorce was final. I was very surprised by their decision but I think they were thinking of what their fighting was doing to Jill.

Jill moved in with me and has been living with me for 3 months. She is a very nice person and is no longer depressed. We have had a lot of fun time together going to school events and sporting events. Jill ask me if I would adopt her so she could stay with me permanently. I told her that I doubt if her parents would let that happen. I don’t know if you can adopt someone that has living parents. Does anyone know if that can be done?

Is there a better solution than adopting her?  Could she just live with me if her parents are OK with it?

Anonymous · Answer

PEDOPHILE pervert troll reported.

T J · Answer

Maybe a foster parent, if they both give up their rights to her.  You also need right now a legal letter of guardianship, just in case you need it, say in the hospital if she gets hurt, and also in her school. The school should also have a copy on file.

Anonymous · Answer

You can adopt with the written consent and Court appearance of both parents.  She can live with you with parental consent.  I thought we figured this out the LAST time you asked.  How many nieces do you have?  I notice that the last time her name wasn't Jill.  How did you enroll her in school, how to you appear in the place of her parents without the Court's approval?

Anonymous · Answer

You sound like a good guy who is well intended, but you need to revise your answer to that adoption question.  I'm sure this hit you out of the blue, so it's understandable.  But it's not about what her parents "allow".   Instead, you want to get her to see that in spite of the arguing, they love her and this divorce has nothing to do with her.  The only way to adopt would be for both parents to give up their parental rights, and they won't do this.

Also, there's a big difference between having fun while "staying with" you for a couple months vs the parenting a 15 year old needs.  Right now, you're the fun older brother type and I'm sure she's having a blast with you and getting away from the stress.  It's hard to transition from that into the person responsible for parenting a teen and everything that entails.

? · Answer

you would need her parents permission to do that

Anonymous · Answer

A quick search revealed that the OP has posted this same story 13 TIMES, some going back 6 YEARS.  "Jill" has not aged past 15 in any of them.

Sandy · Answer

it's not necessary for you to adopt her. she'll be 18 and legally an adult in 3 short years. try to get her parents to leave her with you for that long. if not, she will have to choose which parent to live with. hopefully they will let her stay with you until then, to avoid any legal wrangling.

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Can I/ should I adopt her?

7 Answers