HELP! what should i do about my husband, this is serious?

I agree with some of the others if you knew he didn't have a good job why put yourself through this. Love will not feed nor cloth you while paying the bills on your own. Leave if possible before he ruins you for life with money. He dowsn't sound as if he wants much out of life. Don;t let him drag you down also...K

Not sure what else you can do since you've already spoken with him about it and he refuses to change. He's lazy, always has been, always will be. You got married because you had his kid and maybe you thought that you, or the situation, would change him to be a lot more productive? Well, at least you should know by now that you're going to have to deal with this for as long as you're married to him.

The thing about construction is that it pays really well when you're able to work. So, if he insists on not working during the off season, then maybe he'll agree to either save or give you the money to save for use when he's not working. The problems with this though are that; he may decide to not work until all the saved money is used; being responsible enough to actually save the money; saving insufficient amounts.

Anyway, I wish you the best however you decide to act. Take care.

I know many couples run from this, but I highly suggest a session or two at couples therapy. He's sending out really mixed signals. It seems as if he wants to be with you but is unsure if he loves you or not. He may have been a player before and may be having a hard time coming out of that phase and morphing in a mature adult. For some people, this can happen in thier early fourties even. This situation cannot exactly be disected on Yahoo Answers. In situations like this, detail are important, which can only be percieved through long periods of time. I hope this helped and I hope you take my suggestion seriously. Many people have benefitted from it.

This answer is going to be brutal but...

Quit your job and tell him to make the bills..and if he can't... rely on a close friend to house you so You can get back on Your feet..

what I am saying is leave him.. and find the life you deserve.. let him dwell on all the worries of how your house and utilities are paid for... you're going to have to make a bold stand SOMEWHERE..

Because so far, you have just accepted that this is the way it is.. How much longer are you going to last without getting help from your partner.. I mean ~ really.. is he THAT good in Bed to put up with him?

And even if he is.. do you really want to employ a prostitute on your salary? And couldn't you find one that sleeps elsewhere and eats less at your place for that matter??? Economics are something to think about!!

Can he collect unemployment? A lot of construction workers do not work during the winter months. If he's really wanting to work construction, he should be able to get something here pretty soon.

I'd set a three month time limit for him. In three months time, he needs to have a steady, full-time job. If he needs to be treated for depression in order for that to happen, he needs to try to do that now.

If you continue to try to support a grown man and yourself and your baby by yourself, you could eventually wind up homeless. He needs to contribute or move out. If you divorce him, the judge will order him to pay child support and if he doesn't, he will go to jail. Make sure he understands that he's going to work one way or the other. It just depends whether he wants to do it because a judge forces him to or because he wants to live with his wife and child and keep his family together.

I really hope that he will make the right choice. Good luck to you all.

That is a really hard situation to be in I understand. from what it sounds like you husband is lazy. You have done what you can, but if he wont provide for your family it's time to find a better way. File for a seperation and give him a chance to find a job. If he still won't you are better off without him. That is very selfish. He needs to think about the children that he has brought into this world and take care of them. If he wan't to work with his friend in the spring it sounds like a great side job.

If you want to survive and save your marriage, you need serious help. Women always want to bear the brunt, support our men no matter what and find ways to accomodate their husbands' bad behavior.

REMEMBER...IT'S NOT THAT HE CANNOT HOLD A JOB, IT IS THAT HE JUST WON'T HOLD ONE.

As much as I want to tell you ways to make him feel the threat as a real issue, it is more important that you find ways of dealing with it yourself, obviously he is not going to and you have a problem that could make you HOMELESS.

You need to be the problem solver. Find a way to take care of things yourself, then figure out if you are willing to stay with a man who doesn't care enough about his family to get a job...he should be doing anything it takes to feed his family, instead he is letting you and his mommy do it for him. Be strong. You can find a way out of this mess. Take care of your child and don't give that up for anything or anyone

Sounds like most people are giving you the same answer, and I will too.

Leave him, and start taking care of you and your child only. He is a big boy and will soon figure out that he has to work in order to survive in this world. Or, he can move back in with his mother and let her take care of him.

It isn't fair to your child. How is he/she going to feel when he/she is older, and friends make fun because of going to the food bank.

You are young enough to eventually meet a real man who will help in providing for your family.

Get out now and start looking after you and your child. Forget about him!!!

Well as Ann Landers would say, would you be better with him or without him...how many jobs do you want to have??

Check with your local churches...they should have a food bank that can assist you. Some Catholic churches have a St. Vincent De Paul Society. They will even help you pay your bills...you do not have to be Catholic...good luck and God Bless..

I believe there was a similar episode of this happening on dr phil, where he assisted him in finding a job, however, you dont have that option, i would say you have 2 choices, continue down the path of loss or stand up for yourself and put an ultimatum on him, besides its march..it IS spring, tell him to get off his *** and do something!