How do you deal (emotionally) with failing students?

Well, I'm not a teacher, but I might be able to help anyway. First off, some kids really do deserve to fail a class. For example, I have a friend who is a bright kid, but is about to fail Chinese and possibly biology too basically because he doesn't do any work for either class. Personally, I have a hard time feeling sorry for someone who's failing a class because given that he's showed up to maybe half the lectures and after spends hours in the common room playing video games while I'm in my room studying.

Of course, that's the easy case. I assume what you're struggling with are the kids who are trying their best but where put in a class that's too hard for them. Here's what I have to say about that: you're a good person for feeling bad about failing them, but you won't be doing them any favors by giving them a passing grade they don't deserve. Think about what will happen if they pass. They'll be in a harder class next year, having even more trouble because they haven't mastered the material at whatever level you're teaching. It's because our schools are so reluctant to make students repeat a course that you're in this situation to begin with.

I don't know what your specific school is like, but if you can arrange to work with these kids one-on-one or in a small group to help them master the basic skills they need to succeed in your class next year that's probably the best solution. Most kids do want to do well, but they may feel like they can't do it. Unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you about how to get them to give it a try.

I think if you're this worried about it it's a fair bet you've done your best. If they don't have the basic skills, it probably means that math is not their strong suit, and they was no way they were going to be able to both catch up on what they were missing and keep up with the new material.

I am a science teacher...I had that same problem my first year teaching...and as time passes you will come to learn that NOT failing these students does them more of an injustice than passing them.

IF you are teaching the curriculem, offering tutoring to the ones that need it and being thorough in your explanations, that's all you need to do...the grade they recieve is what they earned. Time will make you more confident of your ability to teach these kids.

Teaching is a very hard job, not because of the content we teach...that part is easy...but because of all these moral dilemmas that arise all the time.

This will help you a lot...CALL THE PARENTS. If students are not doing the work or slacking off calling the parents helps you in the long run if you do end up having to fail the student. When I was teaching (I am on an extended maternity leave) I called at least five parents every day, three calls about performance and behavior, and two calls to tell parents their kids were doing well and how much I appreciated having their kid in my class. (It was five different parents each day) and that helped me so much because after I started doing that the parents really became my allies. AND, the kids take you a LOT more seriously if they know you call parents on a regular basis. I even went so far as to show up at kids houses if I couldn't get a hold of parents via the telephone for whatever reason and needed to talk to them.

I am not a teacher but I do have an 11 year old who struggles in school. We teach him that it is the effort you put in that counts not the end result. At 11 years old he still wants to play not do homework. Children all learn at different levels. When my son was in grade 4 I asked his teacher to fail him as he wasn't learning very much. She passed him anyway and the last two years have been difficult. My son now does his homework on time and is more responsible. I believe that is because he has matured.

You HAVE done your best, you offer them extra help. Lots of teachers can care a lot less. If you fail the kids, it will give them a wake up call that they need to do better. By failing them you're doing them a favor. If you just pass them, that's going to hurt them in the long run. It's rare that goofing off and taking the easy way will benefit you in life.

I'm still a student myself because I used to cut school a lot and didn't give a crap until teachers started failing me. Boy were my parents pissed, I failed EVERY subject one semester. Sure I knew I was going to fail but my own math teacher who seems like a hard a$$ would leave comments like "has the ability to do better" on my report card. That really got me, after that I got my act together.

That comment may have been generic and/or automated but I felt that he saw something in me. Maybe you should leave comments like that.

Teaching is a job that stays with you after you go home. This is because a teacher is compassionate. First of all, be happy you are feeling something for your student. That is how we connect. Students learn the most from teachers who empathize with them.

If you find yourself spending an inordinate amount of time worrying about your own performance, I highly recommend the book, Teacher Man, by Frank McCourt. It will make you laugh, lighten up a bit, and be glad you're in the greatest profession in the WORLD................!!!

You have to ask yourself, "Is this student trying? Are they making an effort to learn? Have I taken to a moment to review the fundamentals they may have missed?"

If you have a student who really doesn't want to try or refuses your help then they've done the failing all on their own. Do the kid and the educational system a favor and do not pass him/her.

would fail on purpose to spend more time with you