Do you give a gift for both the bridal shower and the wedding? Or just one?

the bride shouldn't be telling the guests how much is getting spent per plate - and if she's spending that much she doesn't need gifts because she can damn well get them herself.

as for normally...

if there's a bridal shower and a wedding, the shower is for fun, get the bride something like lingerie bubble bath candles stationary picture frames, etc....the wedding gift should be something for the couple and their new home, toaster, dinner plates, etc.

now if they're having a wedding shower and a wedding....this is usually done when they know that some long distant relatives won't make it to the wedding...so they give them an opportunity to celebrate at a local shower. if you go to both of these you need only gift one time...however if you feel out of place, do something small at the shower that compliments the bigger gift at the wedding.....like pizza cutter/pizza stone....salad tongs/salad bowl...whatever they've registered for.

i can't believe the woman said she expects everyone to spend at least 150 on her....thats incredibly crass....as well as inconsiderate of the people who may not have that to spend on a wedding gift.

Traditionally you give her a gift at the bridal shower and the wedding, if you do not attend the shower then it is up to you. Some people feel they want to give a bridal shower gift even if they can't go, but they don't expect it. When I got married 3 weeks ago I had 4 showers prior to the wedding, the people that were invitited to more then one shower even brought gifts to every shower. Although I didn't expect it at all.

A gift for both at the bridal shower u mostly give stuff that u can use around the house, and at the wedding you give money, thats how we do it in new york

If you do not attend the bridal shower you do not have to give a gift. If you attend the wedding, either give a gift or cash--they will probably appreciate the cash more.

It is tradional to give a gift at both the bridal shower and the wedding, but I don't think its necessary to give a shower gift if you don't attend the shower.

I usually give a gift specific to the bride for the shower like a manicure, massage, lingerie, or paying for her make up artist for the wedding.

For the wedding I usually give a gift for the new household or money.

If you don't attend the shower I wouldn't worry about getting her a gift.

Two occasions calls for two gifts. You don't have to give a gift if you don't attend the shower. No one expects you to bankrupt yourself buying gifts, make sure everything is in your budget. A nice inexpensive shower gift is the Joy of Cooking. I couldn't live without mine.

both

Traditionally, wedding showers are about preparing the bride-to-be for her new life as a wife. Here, friends and family join together to equip her with the right tools -- from sexy lingerie to a toaster oven. But as with most traditions, there are etiquette rules for giving wedding shower gifts.

It doesn't have to be expensive to either one...

Traditionally it's both, but you could ask the person throwing the shower or your friend what is preferred.

traditionaly its both