I love my wife, but...?

Dude, I feel your pain my man...I feel your pain.

You think its bad now, wait till (or should I say with that schedule, IF) kids come along.

My wife and I were bunnies for 2 years (1 engaged, 1 married), then it just dried up. I'm tired, I'm this...I'm that...

I am like you..I have talked, romanced, wooed, etc. I do house work, give her "girls night out", handle the kids from when I get home till they go to bed, I cook, I clean, I iron, I feel like a single parent sometimes. I have a good job, I pay the bills, I tell her how much I appreciate her.

Nothing seems to work.

I said see a doctor, she won't go. I made her appointments, did'nt show. I said lets go to counseling, I don't have time she says.

I'm telling ya...if it wasn't for the kids, I'd be gone by now.

Let me know if you get any usable answers.

Did you know this about her before you got married? If you did you are really just kind of stuck, but you did say that you made love constantly so what I mean is did she mention the once a year thing? This is ridiculous, once a week i might tell you to deal with but this is way overboard and your wife has to be told that you simply aren't happy and if she cares about your marriage she needs to do whatever she needs to do to take care of it. She should see a dr first and rule out any medical problems (or psychological ones) also it could just be that her hormones are out of whack and therefore she has no desire for sex. There could be a million reasons for it, but rule out that one first. You are absolutely right on this one, that is not a marriage and there is no way you can live the rest of your life like that. Its nice that you don't want to push her but it seems as though things have gone the other way and you are the one getting pushed right now. Neither should be pushing. Good luck!

Dude, you're just going about it wrong. Don't focus on the sex. Yeah, I know, that's the hard part. Instead, spend two or three days just romancing her. Get her flowers, make a special effort to cater to her every whim. Do chores you wouldn't normally do without her asking. She'll feel really loved, and will want to share herself with you more.

What you're experiencing is totally natural. As a man, you need sex more than she does. A woman's needs are different. She needs romance the way you need sex. You've got to trade off a little, that's all!

And don't give up if she rejects you a few times. When you change behavior, she won't know how to react right away.

Just remember, these things go in natural cycles. You get what you want for a while, and then it slows down and she gets more of what she wants. Just flow with it!

And good luck!

Well Man you have problems. First if you are married less than a year and this is happening it will be a long haul. But here is what I would suggest. First talk to her and listen to her! There is probably some reason that this is happening and it may not have anything to do with you. Many women have gone through some problem early in life either sexual or emotional abuse etc. you need to lovingly find out what that was. Why she is not interested in sex!

Then you have to have the patience and love to help her through this (Note in extreme cases you might consider couple or individual couseling. I suggest a good Christian Counselor)

Don't try to come on to her talk to her lay the cards out. Then concentrate on her needs and touch her let her know you love her. My wife and I have sex a couple times a week but what has kept us strong through 11 years is constant talking and touching (non sexual and sexual both)

Remember sex is about trust first and foremost. Yes just so you know my wife was abused before and we did have to get that out and work through it.

Good Luck

Is there a reason that she doesnt want sex? Medically,emotionally? Talk with her about it.. When you do make love to her, is it something that is just there or do you make it interesting? Spice it up a bit.. It could be that shes bored with the same routine, ask her to talk about it, and if shes uncomfortable with talking, ask her to write you a letter. Listen to her feelings on the subject. There may be an underlying problem that she may not have told you.. Talk to her.. Thats the best you can do.. After you get married, its like a switch is turned off, because then you dont have to TRY any longer, because you already have that person.. Just TALK ..

It sounds like you have explained your feelings and she has explained hers. The usual answer - counseling sounds good for both of you, especially since she says she was abused. Another possibility - she needs to be checked out completely by an OB-GYN. I had no interest in sex and was satisfied with once a month because it was uncomfortable and I didn't "feel" like I used to. My OB-GYN found that I had benign cysts and tumors in my uterus and ovaries. After surgery to correct this problem and a few weeks to heal I was a new woman. No I can't get enough. Too bad I'm single now, I really have got to find me a man!!

I'm confused. Why was she so willing to have sex all the time with you while you were dating? What changed once you got married? Have you talked with her about it? When there is such a drastic change in your sex life, I think you ought to go into counseling. There's something going on there that needs to be explored. She said to not push it and it'll get better, but it hasn't instead it's gotten worse. Go to couples counseling before it's too late.

It would be nice if you both could see a counselor. It is normal for the frequency of sex to decrease in longterm relationships, but this does seem drastic. And if you aren't happy, you marriage is bound to suffer. Are the other areas of your marriage ok? Is your wife open to talking with a professional? I hope this improves. It is so hard when a couple has a big differnce in sexual desire. Maybe she should see a dr to rule out a medical cause for her decreased libido.

Go get it somewhere else, She is certainly nof keeping up to her end of the bargain. I man has needs and she is abusing your manhood.. I cannot stand women like this. Apparently, she has gotten a little full of herself.

Tell her to put out or your leaving. You only live once and as important as sex is to a man, you can do better than that.

I am a woman.

Since you say she has a past abuse issue, you both should see a counselor. She will never come to terms with the abuse until she learns to work through the memories. A good counselor can help with this, plus help you know how to avoid triggering the memories. Good Luck.