Teachers- What's the one thing you would love to hear your principal say on the first day of school?

We just had an tremendous increase in funding, so...

We have doubled our teaching staff. Your class sizes are all cut in half! You now have adequate time with each student to provide some decent individualized instruction! If you ask most teachers whether they'd want to double their pay, or cut their class size in half, most would want half the class size instead.

Each of you now has an instructional assistant to help you!

Every student now has their own individual textbook and workbook in every subject, AND all your consumable center, large group, and other materials will be paid in full by the school this year! You can submit your receipts or purchase orders at any time and know you will be fully reimbursed.

Parents are now being held fully accountable for attendance and student behavior.... rather than the school being held accountable. Therefore, if a child is not showing up, we don't need to offer bribes to parents to make them bring their kid on time. The judges will do their jobs instead. If a child is chronically misbehaving (without a psychological disorder), his/her parents will be hauled into court and forced to take parenting classes. The kid may actually be placed in foster care or juvinile justice until he/she can learn to behave. Children with psychological disorders who are violent will be homebound or hospitalized.

All teachers will receive professional development in each area of education... regular ed, special ed, bilingual, etc. If our classes are going to be mixed-needs, then we all need to understand the different approaches.

State tests will no longer be administered. Students will pass to the next grade with a score of 80% or higher (rather than 60%), and you will use portfolios to show that your tests, and the students' responses, meet state standards and benchmarks. You can now use that month that used to be wasted on state testing, for instruction. Be aware that auditors will randomly confirm student portfolio content, so stay on top of it!

Student achievement is a mutual responsibility between the teacher, the STUDENT, and the PARENTS... with EQUAL accountability!

Have I ever heard any of this said? Are you kidding? It is to laugh.

Funding source for all this?

Cut state testing... there's tens of millions of dollars spent there, and porfolio auditors would cost considerably less. Make sports and other extracurricular programs equally dependent on community fundraising rather than getting funds from the school budget, just like they do in Europe (very successfully). Audit administrative budgets, completely. Find where the black hole is for "skimming," and seal it.

Federal prisoners get $25,000 per year spent on them. States spend between $5,500 and $8,000 per year on each student (some districts spend up to $12,000 per student, but make up the difference from local sources... rich community, etc.).

Ummmmmmm I'm now not going to even get into intensity with this one however I'll do it besides when you consider that I'm cool like that Just randomly blurt out random matters whilst the instructor is explaining some thing Snatch the academics random **** off the desks and watch her response ha ha I used to try this Draw a colossal c!!ok at the board lol

Every teacher will have an aide,there is sufficient funds for all progarms, field trips, science expriments,all children will have all supplies,appropriate clothes and shoes,brkfst,lunch and a snak after school and loving supportive parents who will help with homework, and all the newest educatiional technolgy will be furnished to everyone with no sharing!

your students' parents have paid a materials fee for every class their student is in, here are the fees paid by your classes, spend it on things you need or do not have enough of.

you will be getting an aide

the dress code for teachers is changing, you may wear your favorite athletic shoes everyday, as well as whatever clothing goes best with them (wind pants, jeans). oh yeah, every day is t-shirt day

every classroom will be well equipped with an overhead projector, a ceiling mounted digital projector, laptop computer, and tv/vcr/dvd combo unit.

Good Job!... Yes, when my principal congratulated me on a wonderful First Day of School project that I headed.

Disruptive, abusive, destructive, and disrespectful behavior by students will no longer be tolerated in this school. We have found a solution! Oh, and there will be absolutely no problem in acquiring any and all materials you need to do your job.

(Well, I can dream can't I? I teach in an inner-city public school, and I will never hear it said! :-))

the school is closed again for a 2 months vacations. no i havent heard that from my princi