Should I bring flowers to cheer up a co-worker on the two year anniversary of her husband's death?

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I think it's appropriate to not come empty handed to a celebratory party like an Anniversary, especially if the hosts are providing all the food/drinks. It's best to avoid giving alcohol, even a harmless bottle of wine/champagne, because not everyone drinks. A gift card/certificate to a local restaurant is always a nice idea. It's something both of them can enjoy, it's a nice way of saying 'thank you for the invitation' & 'congratulations', it's less personal than a Hallmark card, and in most cases, they're fairly inexpensive. $25 is a great start. But spending more than that is a personal choice.

How close are you to this co-worker? If so, then you would have a fairly good idea if she would like the flowers or not.

Personally, I think it's a nice idea. It will still be a sad day but it is nice that someone remembers.

You don't have to get a big arrangement- maybe a bud vase with some roses and baby's breath. A little card saying "Thinking of you today" or something like that.

This is soooo personal, as you can also see from the responses... some people who've lost someone like it and others don't... my mom loves flowers, they very much cheer her up. She always buys herself some extra flowers on my dad's birthday & anniversary of his death and for many years her best friend would bring her some too... she very much appreciates that, it doesn't 'keep reminding her' instead she'll probably shed just a tear or two and then the flowers will remind her of the good and happy times they had. She wouldn't like 'distracting' stuff at all, that would probably make her cry harder! But others will want to try and forget. If you know your co-worker, you'll probably know best or if you aren't that close to her maybe there's another co-worker who's more of a personal friend to her you could ask for advice?

I think it depends on how she acts about this day to day. Does she talk about this subject alot, or share personal hardships of grief with you and others often? I assume she must because as I am a very closed in person you probably wouldn't know the anniversary of my husband's death, as I am more private and prefer to grieve alone I wouldn't bring attention to it at all. So then if she mentions it from time to time or has it pinned up on her calendar, yes I suppose flowers would be a kind gesture. Maybe support and consolation is her form of grieving. That is very sweet of you and I think she would be touched.

Depends on the person. If you think it will make her fall apart, then definitely not. If you think she will appreciate it, then why not. Also, so it doesn't seem a little morbid, why not give them to her a day or two before the date. She will likely start getting a little blue a few days in advance. A simple "thinking of you" card would also be nice.

I agree that you are being a good friend and co-worker by remembering. Maybe instead of flowers, either sending a card, or just letting her know that you remember and maybe offering to go to lunch with her...she'll certainly appreciate your rememberence and thoughts no matter what...

No. Give her flowers some other time that way they will be appreciated as a cheer up gift not as a reminder that her husband has been gone for two years.

I use to buy my mom flowers every year on my dad's death date. Only after 20 years did she finally tell me that it was hurting her more than helping. I advise you just lend an ear if she needs to talk. Odds are she has gotten to a stage though where she can mourn alone.

I have a friend that described the one year passing of her husband while at work.

She felt that everyone ignored her, perhaps because they didn't know what to say. If someone at at least acknowledged it - she would have felt that people remembered and offered her some comfort in knowing they were thinking of her. She felt alone and isolated and went home crying.

I don't think the flowers will be a "reminder" for her - she hasn't forgotten!

To know that someone else hasn't forgotten can make a huge difference in her day however!

Bring her anything, even a simple card, to let her know you're thinking of her. I think your thoughts are in the right place and she's lucky to have you as a co-worker.

I don't understand why people are so cruel with their opinions here at times.

I agree with the folks who say it is probably not a good idea, but your heart is in the right place.

I did not work on the anniversary of my mother's death for many years, if it were my wife, I think it would be much longer.

However; maybe you could ask her if she would like to have lunch with you somewhere that isn't crowded (if that is even possible). If she feels like opening up then and sharing, you can lend her a sympathetic ear, without forcing the issue or having a potentially embarrasing moment in public.

It's easy to help folks in the good times and emergencies, bless you for thinking of them when it is bad, but not obvious.