What should I be asking myself about being pregnant?

Do you really want this baby?

Does he really want this baby?

Would he make a good father?

Do you have any other people who could be a good support system for you during your pregnancy?

Are you financially ready for a baby?

If you werent sure if you wanted a baby could you handle having an abortion emotionally?

If you wanted the baby but your lifestyle wouldnt be good for a child would you be willing to consider placing the child up for adoption?

Do you have health insurance?

Will you need to find a bigger home?

And once you have answered all these questions if you decide to have the baby then you have to decide if your going ot have a natural delivery with no drugs or if you want pain relief. If your going to breast of bottle feed. If it's a boy will you get him circumsized. All kinds of stuff. I hope things work out for you though I do know if you decided to go it alone you could do it i'm a 22 yr old single mother of a soon to be 4 year old and a 5 1/2 month old.

Men respond in all different ways when we speak of pregnancy. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and my pregnancy was planned, but I was still very surprised with his behaviors. What I found to be most disconcerting was that he just assumed that once I got pregnant I would be able to do all of the things I had done before I was pregnant (I am employed full time and run our house almost completely). He was visibly frustrated with me a few times when I was tired, ill, or unable to do something like paint a room.

We're through the first trimester now, and I feel as though he's getting much better. I attribute the improvement in his actions to be threefold - first, he's gotten used to the pregnancy thing; second; I told him that I was disappointed with the way he was acting, and that I had expected to be pampered more; third, he has been very, very busy at work and that is starting to ease up.

My point in telling you this is that pregnancy is a challenge when you are in a GOOD relationship, and I can't imagine how hard it would be when you are in a more turbulent one. I think you should seriously consider whether you have a good marriage and whether he will be a good father. If you don't like the answers to those questions, you should also decide whether you are interested in being a single parent. You will have some tough decisions to make, but I tell you this through observation, having a baby NEVER fixes a broken or bad relationship, it only makes it worse. Keep that in mind when you are making yoru decisions.

You don't need the clinic to tell you, it the test is positive you are pregnant. Sounds like you're very confused right now as well. I can promise you this, having a baby won't make things easier in your relationship.

You need to ask yourself a lot of question. Probably most importnant, Am I in the right relationship? Is it salvagable? These questions aren't connected to your pregnancy, you need to know that anyway.

Regarding your pregnancy, there aren't many options, keep the baby, have an abortion or continue the pregnancy but have the child adopted at the end. Only you can decide which is best for you. At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to tell you what to do, I've never yet met anybody who had a child and regreted it.

Good luck, you could be in for a bit of rough ride but you'll get through it.

I don't necessarily think you should be asking any particular questions. You should start finding some good child development and baby care books in order to read up on how to do a really good job taking care of a baby, nurturing it in a way that helps him/her have really good brain development, and making it feel safe and secure.

Also, get a good book about pregnancy and what to expect.

Plan a course of action if you decide you have to leave the marriage, but don't act on it right now

If you get yourself very informed about pregnancy and taking care of a baby well, and if you have plan of action in place in case you need it, then you can see what happens with the relationship over the course of the next several months and after.

Don't read too much into your husband's reaction right now, though. Young guys that age aren't usually pining away for a baby. Men are sometimes in their late thirties before they start to think that they want children. (Sure, there are the stupid little teenage boys who don't have much going for them and just want to know they can get a girl pregnant, but they aren't "regular" young men.)

I'm sure if you say you have a rocky relationship that you have a rocky relationship, but that could be a separate thing from your husband's luke-warm reaction to the news of a pregnancy.

I don't think you need to ask any questions. I think you already know what you need to do. I think you just need to prepare yourself to be a mother and prepare yourself to be a single mother if it turns out that's what you'll be.

This doesnt really seem like the right environment to bring a child into unless you are willing and able to be a single mom.

I'm in somewhat the same situation...I've been married for 7 years (tomorrow) and I think I'm pregnant but my husband and I haven't been getting along for months. I don't know what to do either.

Just ask yourself -

do you think you can stick together through this?

are you ready to be a mom?

can you afford to care for a baby on your own?

how much is your husband going to support you?

Tough decision, I know. Good luck with everything. Email me if you need someone to talk to.

Seems to me if your relationship is "rocky" and you both want to stay married perhaps you should take some marriage counseling, or at least talk to someone about the problems, they seem to be underlying from just a pregnancy. In my opinion, he does not seem to be the best type to father a child, but could also be in a bit of shock from finding out, if he does not change his opinion in the near future than talk to him about how you feel.

Nothing wrong with being scared about the situation, it's normal. Just think about what you want to do, and not worry about everyone else, if he is happy for you, than it is better for the whole family... really you guys just need to talk about it

it sounds like you need to work on your relationship and living situation before you can worry about a baby, but now it's too late, so you'll have to double time it.

figure out what YOU WANT! what is it exactly you are looking to achieve with your life?

do you WANT to be a mother? because theres options, adoption, abortion, etc...

if you do decide you can't keep it, give the baby up for adoption, theres no sense killing off a perfectly good human being, when there are women who would LOVE to be able to carry child..

then, find out what he wants, and compromise, or get out and find someone who cares and shares youir life goals

questions to ask yourself:

am i prepared to care for myself and my unborn child?

am i prepared to care for my born child?

am i prepared to do this by myself if 'mr. right' decides he doesn't want to be involved in our child's life.

do i have sufficient support from family and friends? will they back me up in my decisions, or will they be antagonistic?

DO I CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS? this is my child and i want what's best for him/her!

these are starters. you'd be surprised how nasty some people can be, and i mean two-faced. is this charming man who is the father going to support your decisions and help out? or is he just going to try and spend the 'big money' you get come tax time? it takes a whole lot more than $4500.00 to feed, clothe (diapers a plenty baby!), medical expenses, shots, clothes (repeat cuz they grow out of them almost overnight!)

once you answer these questions yourself, tell your husband how you feel. if he can't be on the same page as you, then you have a few more questions for yourself:

am i strong enough to do this alone?

do i have enough love to raise this child by myself?

should i consider adoption?

i won't even state the next question,

i hope this little bit helped. good luck to you!

There is no such thing as an "Inconvenient Life". Whatever the obstacles, none are insurmountable. No baby's life is perfect...I was born to a 17 year old high school drop out mom and a 19 year old dad. I have a great life and wouldn't trade my experiences for anything...EXCEPT my abortion 17 years ago. I cry about it to this very day.

Questions you should be asking yourself:

- What do I hope to get out of life? Am I looking for a perfectly easy life, or a life that helps me to grow and learn about myself?

- Am I under the false impression that having an abortion will save my relationship or that it will make my life perfect from then on?

- Why do I fear the future? Haven't I always come through just fine?

- Am I making my decision based on my governing morals and principles, or am I giving in to societal pressures and judgments about what it means to be an independent woman?

- What makes me think that my life will go on just as before if I have an abortion? Aren’t there future emotional repercussions that I may not be considering fully?

- What is an unborn child? Is it morally right to end his or her life in order to make my life easier or to attempt to erase my momentary lapse of judgment?

- Why does the father’s apparent disinterest mean anything to me regarding my decisions about my unborn child? Isn’t he probably just as “in shock” as I am? Doesn’t he deserve a chance to rise to this challenge, too?

- Have I explored all of the FACTS before making this life and death decision? Or am I considering having an abortion based on fear, despair, and defeatism?

Please view the following links before making your decision.

You and your baby will be in my prayers. Please email me through Y!A if you need to talk…I will listen and help you as much as I can based on what I’ve learned about this tough issue through experience and research.

God bless you.