Let me have mature people answer this question and be honest.?

Just start by asking him to lunch and move on from there. There is no reason he wouldn't want to spend time with you. You need to get past the "step-mom" thing, yes it's not right but there is nothing you can do about it either. Why be bitter about something you have no control over?

Maybe over time you can even get him to spend a vacation with you or something like that. It's your move, always has been.

This is a painful situation, and I'm sorry you have to face it. The reality is, though, that all the blame doesn't lie at your stepmother's feet. Your dad is responsible for the fact that he didn't pursue a close relationship with you. He elected to place his wife and her sons higher on his list of priorities.

Nevertheless, I understand your desire "just to spend time" with your dad. If you do this, though, don't have an unrealistic expectation that your relationship with him is suddenly going to change. If it's been this way "from childhood to adulthood," chances are it's going to remain the same.

You can still enjoy your dad's company and accept him for who he is, though. Go to a ball game with him, or a museum, or fishing, or anything that involves an activity he enjoys. He may decline your invitation at first if he is not accustomed to doing things without his wife. Accept that, and tell him that you'll be asking him again and for him to give some thought about what you and he might do together.

Good luck, and God bless!

She's looking out for herself and her "kids". By alienating his natural children, she basically ensures that everything he has is theirs alone. It's disgusting and I'm sorry that there are people like that. I have 3 stepsons, and I have always told them that they are welcome and whatever I do for our 2 kids, I do for them, too. My husband is paying $1000 a month in cs, but we still buy them their school clothes and supplies every year bc if we didn't, they wouldn't have anything new. (Let's just say their mother is beyond unfit.) I could not imagine leaving those kids out. They are my kids' brothers. If I were you, I would try to talk to my dad, without her there. He has to know that what's going on isn't right, but he's enabling them to act like that by not saying or doing anything and letting it go on for so long. Send birthday, holiday, and just any day cards to let him know that you love him and want to be part of HIS life. Call and talk about the weather, if nothing else. Ignore what she says about you because you don't even know those people, so it doesn't matter. The people you do know will know the truth. Most importantly your dad. Good luck.

well mostly this is sad but have you heard of the step mother from H____? well that is what most of them are. why because they can't deal with other kids that are not theirs and they hide all the stuff they can and always get away with it i have a sister and she was raised by mean step mom well in all she has got what shes deserved. she is with her real son and he kicks her around now and hes a drunk. so shes gettin hers. but anyhow i got off the track. well you can just since iam assuming you are older now and not living there well tell your dad you would like an out with him evening or something ivnite him to eat or wahtever. there is no need to tell him now its too late andyou made it i mean hey he would be shocked and men are stupid as usual. i have a son the same way he married i thought nice girl which i am now finding out different. its sad. but you just keep your chin up and go. girl go

I have always come to the conclusion that, when a Mother/Father, gets married for the second time, almost always when there are Children of the first marriage, the Stepmother, will not or won't make any effort to care for them as her own, in other words, when she has Children of her own, she only cares for her own, making the stepchildren feel like they are not welcome there. If the father does not do anything to stop his wife's, ways of not caring for his first siblings the stepmother will get an advantage as to who comes first in the household. Your stepmother is always going to talk bad about you and your siblings, because she does not Love you, and she also is jealous of you, because what she cannot stand is that you all were first in your Father's life, and that makes her more envious of you all. I feel sorry for this Lady, because jealousy is eating her up, and she will never be able to be happy. I am a 65yr. old lady, and I too, passed through the same problem you have with your stepmother, I already was Married and had a family when my Mother passed away after a long ilness,my Father was a gentle old man of 65 yrs. that a lady friend of my Mother's started to invite him to supper, to make a long story short he married her, and that was the last time that I got to spend time with him, she always was overbearing with him, and he usually did what she told him to do. When my Father got sick, she did not let us see him, even though he told her to call us. She did call us ,but only to inform us that he was in the Hospital, and he did not have long to live. Can you imagine, not to be able to take the hand of your Father to soothe him and to tell him we Loved him, she did not want us to touch him. Is there a way for you to communicate with your Dad, to tell him that you want some time with him, to have a long talk just you and him, and to please not tell his wife about it,if this do take place ask him if he knows that his wife has always put all of you down, and gave praise to her sons only, was he agreeable with it. I hope that it will happen, and that you can spend time with your dad, since you are trying to have some closure with him, and at least be together for a moment before the Lord calls him home, because as you know, we are not, eternal here on Earth, and we never know when our time will come. I care, and hope that you will be able to at least tell your dad that all you siblings Love him a lot, and will be there for him if he does need you, one of this days.

She is just super insecure about herself and projects it on to you and your siblings. It is amazing that you have turned out so well. I hope you have learned from her mistakes and treat your family with the respect they deserve.

The only thing I can tell you to do with you dad is try and talk to him about it. Take him out for a meal and tell him exactly how you feel. If he won't listen, write him a letter. He needs to know exactly how you feel. If he doesn't believe you or he sticks up for his wife, then maybe you should distance yourself from him. It isn't worth the pain and frustration you have been dealing with. I know that will be hard for you, but isn't it better to let yourself have some peace and happiness for once? You could also try talking to a professional therapist. They might be able to give you some better ideas on how to deal with your pain and frustrations.

I am really sorry this has happened to you. I am impressed with your bravery and strength. I hope you find a way that allows you to have the life you deserve. Good luck!

I believe our function here, in this life is not knowing why people have so many different ways. I believe you are here in this life to enjoy it and to live it. So, do not expect any thing about others and you will live happier. Your goal should be happiness, wellness and altruism. Become your stay in this world giving... not expecting love.. Remember Giver is happier than Receiver...Start to watch things you already have, and miss out those that hurt you. We have to start to change ours minds before we get crazy... the whole time desiring things, expecting changes on others... Avoid stay in places where you are not welcome... Do not be close to people who do not appreciate you... Know what?? When someone give you a bad treatment even when you have been a good person... do n t worry... It is the way they have to show they are jealous... Do not allow any thing get your sad, you are so valuable... why they do not see that? because they are so selfish.. it is not your problem.. Take care about YOU, and remember... Nobody can offer what they do not have inside...

You know sometimes men are blinded by love, but I always say blood is thicker then water. What u have to do is invite ur dad out for lunch or dinner, and make sure ur wicked step mom knows that it's a dad and daughter outting. U don't want no tag alongs. Then u talk to ur dad, tell him how u feel, and no matter what he says u make sure u let him know u love him. No matter who he's married to.

It's obvious she feels threatened by your presence--she feels that if your dad loves you--there will not be enough love for her and her sons--How sad--her basic concept of love is wrong--she feels there is not enough to go around...and you cannot fix this for her--It's unfortunate that your dad has been manipulated by her all these years--but he is also responsible--he went along with it--maybe becasue it was easier to just agree with her--but again--that's his choice--you can try e-mailing your father--if he's into that--or just call him and say--Hey dad --I'd love to just spend a father-son day together--and buy him tickets to his favorite game/outing/event--just 2 tickets--you and he--Tell your stepmom--well--I'm making up for all the time we didn't spend together--you're right --I do have to be a better son--I am going to get to know and love my dad more--What can she really say then? But don't waste time hating her--she was motivated by fear of losing your dad--The only way to conquer fear is through Love-so just offer that to your father--it is up to him to want to receive it--But your intentions WILL matter in the greater scheme of things--Good Luck:)

That is very hard to deal with.... Look, I would ask my father if I could just have a candid concersation, and make him promise to hear me out without judgement. And I would try to tell him how I felt. And then ask him if he would like to spend some time....Try not to play the blame game even though you probably know it's your step mothers fault for that kind of division.