I don't love my husband anymore but I dont want to leave him because of my kids. What should I do?

Leave him.

Okay, since you're asking this is Religion and Spirituality I'll start with a religious answer. God intended for marriages to last until death. There are only two good reasons for leaving biblically, infidelity and if one comes to faith and the other rejects faith and the partner who believes. I'm sure God would not want anyone to stay in an abusive relationship either.

That said, what do you mean you don't love your husband? Do you mean you don't have the butterflies in your stomach anymore? That the bloom of romance is gone? Love is as much a choice and an action as it is a feeling. Romance doesn't last, real commitment does.

The effects of divorce on children are devastating. It should be a last resort. Do everything that you can to work on and strengthen your marriage. Seek couseling, institute a weekly date night, talk openly and honestly with your husband. Act like you love him for a while. I tell you, feelings are fickle and not lasting. Don't throw away and marriage on some whim that doesn't last.

Nobody loves each other after a few years of marriage without some amount of effort. Good marriages don't just happen.

And, I've gone both ways on the staying together for the kids thing, kids definitely pickup on negative emotions, they don't have to pick up on *no* emotions.I wouldn't stay but that's mostly because I"m selfish. Selfishness is not an important emotion to teach children. But neither is martyrdom. Get counseling, that's what I'd do. I do know it's important that the kids have both of your support.

I think that we need more info to answer this responsibly. Such as do you have a religious background? If so than what does your faith say and do you have a pastor or counselor that you can talk to. Also, is there abuse or neglect in the marriage? In my experience -marriage is full of mountains and valleys and sometimes I have to choose to love my husband in the valleys even when I don't "like" him much. This was especially true the first few years when we were figuring things out. My advice don't do anything lightly-there are a lot of good counselors (and if you can not afford one there are free ones---e-mail me and I will try to help you find one) out there and even if you choose to leave your husband the counselor can help you,your husband and kids get through it better. God bless you and hang in there.

This is very tough to answer for me because i too am in that situation (with my wife). I have two children from a marriage that ended when i went to Iraq and my wife left us. now i thought I married to one and the kids love her more than anyone on earth. to leave her for me would rip their world apart and yet it is hard to stay.

My best advice is for you to really give your marriage a go. If he is abusing you LEAVE NOW!, but if not set no time line and try for you not for the kids, they won't understand anyway and if there is a large amount of friction between you and your husband it will cause the kids pain. if you cannot go on, DON"T; just make sure you are setup and have a neutral place for you and your children no matter how much time you have to spend with them.

First of all the marriage arrangemeant was something you did before god. If you truly ment that promise you made to God then you will honor it come what may. The bible tell us to keep on putting up with one another. The only grounds for divorce is fornication/adultery. If you truly honor your marriage you work at it. remember the children are involve and having both parents plays an important role in rearing your children.

There's a lot more to the equation than those two variables.

I would need to know a lot more about your situation before I could offer any advice at all.

But as a general rule, I think you should keep working at the marriage until you are sure all hope is gone, then try to make the separation as amicable as possible. Chlidren do not benefit from being raised in a house with no love in it.

.

Staying "for this kids" isn't always the best answer.

Kids are not dumb. They will sense the tenseness between you and your husband. It WILL affect them. They will not be exposed to what a caring loving relationship is. They will think your relationship is normal. They will grow up and likely have non-caring non-loving marriages themselves because to them, that is "normal".

Please don't doom your children to marriages without love.

You can fall in love with your husband all over again. Please read the following books:

Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow. - This book has given new life to thousands of marriages.

Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl - Discover how God can make your marriage glorious.

Blue Denim and Lace by Dr. Jack Hyles - You probably won't find this book in regular bookstores. I got my copy on Ebay but if you google search for it you will find it.

Please, your marriage is worth fighting for. You can revitalize your marriage.

Did you love him to begin with if so for what reason try to kendle that relationship an seek God for council. Have you talk to you husband from your heart to let him know what you want or is somebody else involved in this?

so ur going to bite ur teeth and live.one thing what ur doing is ur not doing right to u as u will different reactions in outwardly as u where not as u wanted.and u wnt ur partner to be under ur rules r qualities,when ever he breaks r not as what u dreamt then things go wrong in ur life one graet thing u r lacking acceptence of accepting people as they r u have limitations in beign with people r ur looking for people who support ur ego if any disturbances happen then all goes wrong.i am not telling u to be passively accept whatever he does.but u let him in to u and look then u will find ways to be happy.dont seek people as u think r image .even mere normal dreams r rules.r else even if u run r divert u will be having problems allways no one can help it.until unless u allow u for change